Recent content by psychgirllost

This is why I see a therapist once a week. Sometimes it seems like a long wait but it helps to know I'm going to get that chance. Also I have two dogs.

@GWhizz I can't figure out how to get this to quote what I wanted to, but I've been in counseling of some form for close to thirty years. Sounds frightening but your comment about reaching your maximum potential, I think that might be what I've been mourning the most lately and apparently...

Mm mm. I forgot one. My mom put me on strict diets starting when I was three and the constant degrading me has never stopped whether I've weighed 145 or 245. I gained weight to defend myself against her. She told me no one would love me If I was fat. I proved her right and became bigger and...

I've been thinking about this very thing this week! I told one of my friends i felt like my life had been stolen from me and that I was broken. So what has been taken? 1. Safety. But not in the strict sense of the word. I manage myself pretty well. In fact I come across as really strong when...

I've been at this healing thing for a long time. I was emotionally, physically and sexuall abused by both my parents. They took my ability to trust, my feeling of safety, my ability to feel love (or any feelings really), and they took my own body away from me (and not just with the sexual abuse...

Thanks about the lion. lol. I am not borderline, however I was probably raised by one and so sometimes the kids end up exhibiting some symptoms. The numbing has been intermittent over the years but I had never been in a relationship that meant as much to me as this one so I suppose that's when I...

I see that there are other topics on this but the one I looked at was old. I've known I'm numb for awhile now. I was recently in a relationship (he has combat ptsd so we were double whammied. I was abused by both my parents) and he was always doing the isolation stuff. This last time seems to be...

The guy I was seeing had different tones of voice. When he was trying to push me away he used what I called "soldier voice". It was emotionless and gruff and loud. Sir yes sir. otherwise his voice was soft and gentle. He would frequently say, as well, "I'm just a soldier" as well as the "I'm a...

Oh. And he also suggested he could find me a better man. I told him I wasn't looking. It was the last thing I wNted right now and that I already had a "better" man. He looked worn down after I said that.

I started seeing a combat veteran two years ago sept. It was this constant push and pull where he would just suddenly stop answering my texts and calls. The past year was better after a four month pull away that lasted from August until November of 2013 when I found out from his friend that he...