Shan

I am hoping that I gain some understanding here in this forum by sharing and hopefully helping others. I am just realizing at this late stage in life how traumatic my LACK of a loving, positive, supportive, healthy and encouraging upbringing was with my one very disturbed, alcoholic, borderline personality, bi polar mother was. I have never been to a therapist, nor can I afford one. I did not stand a chance at a normal life. She mentally, emotionally and sometimes physically beat me down for years and manipulated and controlled me. While everyone put their head in the sand and avoided confrontation with her. Basically no one came to my rescue and I still feel like they all think "oh it is only Shan." Having me to anchor my father into a long term marriage blew up and he left right after I was born...I have been paying for it ever since!