Recent content by Tolkienian

Me too! Yep. Actually, for me, it's a physical response to thinking I'm unsafe. My body responds before my conscious mind catches up. The scariest was when I was probably in middle school, and my sister sneaked up behind me. I only realized she was there when she said, "Ouch," from where I had...

I agree that a proper diagnosis is important, but until then, I have some thoughts. One: You are doing the absolute best you can do to care for this child. That's important--and even if she doesn't recognize that now, she might later. A caregiver who does their very best and gets it wrong is...

@FridayJones Your note @Melody coates makes so much sense! I too experience everything on your list except the limited affect. I think I'd add major skin flare-ups to the list. When I'm very stressed, my scalp will get massively inflamed and hot and itchy and generally horrible. Then my hair...

Sorry to bump this after a few weeks, but I've got a few ideas. I too am in a LDR with my boyfriend, and he's incredible (I'm the girlfriend with PTSD in this scenario). One thing that really really helped me was him giving me a pair of his sweatpants to take with me when I leave for school. In...

Me too. Yet another voice. I've had the jerking awake as I fall asleep, the waking up choking that some other members have described, and the waking up panicking. My doctor described what was happening to me as night terrors and recommended Progressive Muscular Relaxation. There are several very...

I've been fighting to sleep through the night for years. The boatload of problems includes: nightmares, night terrors, night panic attacks, sleep walking, insomnia, night sweats, and daytime sleepiness. A good night is one where I only wake up two or three times. Currently, I'm using a sun lamp...

Two thoughts: If he makes you feel safe, then it makes sense that you would subconsciously want to process when he's around. And if you're worried he'll leave, then this could also be a test (I know I still try to push away my bf from time to time, either consciously or not).

That's rough. Are there any other books you've read this quarter of similar importance? If you approached your teacher with another book that you could write about, showing that you can fulfill the purpose of the assignment, they might be more inclined to let you write a different essay.

I'd say that if you're having panic and dissociation issues as you work through things, medication is a perfectly viable option. I do have a great (and very reassuring) psychiatrist, though, and I'm so very sorry that hasn't been your experience. One option is to get medication like Xanax that...

Honestly, my BF and I talk a lot about what's "enough." I've come to the point (when I'm thinking rationally, anyways) that I don't think "enough" needs to be part of a relationship. He does a great job taking care of you. You're doing your level best to take care of him in whatever ways you...

So right now I'm alarmed. I hate losing time, and it usually happens when I'm triggered or stressed. Tonight I have two missing units of time (10 minutes and 20 minutes) on my internet browser history, and a long scratch on my trackpad that wasn't there this morning. (Although scratches on the...

Generally, it's a sudden clarity about what triggered it, like a recent one was, "Oh! The sound of turning the shower off is making me flash back." Sometimes it takes talking around it with my T to get to it. My current body memory issues are related to trusting myself and learning how to cope...

This is gonna sound moderately weird, but... Have you tried talking to your memories? Are the memories themselves mean and trying to hurt you, or are they trying to get out/get processed, hurting you without meaning to? One of the things I do is that I ask the flashback or body memory why it is...

I'm so sorry, TLight! Even if you don't see it, you are worthy of love. I agree with Albatross that learning to focus on self-care is good enough for me for now. Another thing I've told my younger siblings about parental relationships: You may look like them. You may share 50% of your DNA with...

Welcome, SwordsMistress! I've only been here a few days myself, but the outpouring of support and understanding here is really wonderful. I'm really sorry you're experiencing this too, and I admire you for the scary steps you're taking to get better. I also get triggered around groups of men...