Search results

I don't know anything...but do not feel shame for the way you are feeling. I know at work for me people do not know what I need, how to react, etc. So, I've taken my misery and I keep to myself. This week my boss sat me down with HR and said I was negative and that I need to be friendlier. I...

If you do not feel anger. do you feel joy?

Breathe and go and do something for you :)

@Promicarus oh wow, you have hit the nail on the head of my relationship. Thank you so much for the share and honesty. What would it take for someone to pass the test? @Brokenhalo my sufferer's trigger is love and caring. We had a really great relationship, I love him deeply, we are also...

gift from within org> articles > traumatic stress and ptsd articles >scroll down>under the addiction category>Trauma Addiction: Safety and Stabilization for the Addicted Survivor of Trauma

I have no advice but I'm in the same boat. It's been 7 months now. I still see him at a mutual event twice a week. His trigger is love/caring spent his whole life in abusive relationships - until me. He physically shut down and went numb. Says he doesn't feel the same way as he did. A...

Hi LDM, I am in a similar situation but my now ex is not dating anyone else, but he flirts with other women to get reactions from me. We had a great relationship and I told him I loved him and taking in love and caring is his trigger. He usually goes out with abusive women after growing up...

Found this great article today to help people recover from abuse. I can't post links yet but if you Google "giftfromwithin men recovering abuse" you should be able to find it. It's a long read but a good one with tactical advice. Love to know your thoughts :)

@BewitchedBewildered thank you for your kind words. It's very hard. When I ignored him, like he asked, he was the angriest I've ever seen him - abandonment issues? Then when things went back to "normal" a couple days later he blocked me. Days later (I see him at our mutual sport) and he...

My sufferer and I had a really great relationship. Love is his trigger (who knew) and when I said I love you, he shut down and went numb. I saw him physically do it. From then on it was "I don't feel the same way as I did" but we are caught up in the push/pull dance for 6 months and two weeks...

That is a great shift in thinking - hard to get there.

At the doctor's once, getting my routine annual women's check-up, the nurse said to me, "you can always tell who's been sexually abused because they cry"...then when it began I started to cry. Bet she felt like a jerk. My point is no one can tell your past there is no way she suspected mine or...

welcome, you're in the right place :)

Abuse is never ok. However, I had a wonderful amazing relationship with a man who literally shut-down and numbed bc I said I loved him. He said he doesn't feel the same way as he did. I witnessed his body going rigid and his freeze mode. I know emphatically that his amygdala hijacked us but...

You have every right to be angry, you have every right to feel how you feel, be angry, you're getting rid of something...go with it. Don't reign it in, don't control it, don't hurt yourself or anyone else, but go and scream somewhere, go to the dollar store and get some plates, get a sharpie...

Personally, I think he's keeping it as a doorway. I had a guy do this once - he is affectionately named "vanishing dude". We were close, grew up together, and poof one day he was gone. I asked him for my yearbook back, I never ever got a response, I reached out asking if his sister was on the...

Welcome and a big hug - there is wisdom here, empathy and laughs sometimes. Glad you're here.

I don't think you can blame yourself. Something I learned this week is that no matter what I do he will not let me in. I have reacted, not reacted, I have told him how I feel, withheld how I feel, and asked for space and I ignored him at our mutual activity for 2 nights and then he was the...

I can completely relate to this and I'm sorry you're going through this. Keep the conversation light and let her drive the conversation. Be a friend with no expectations - safety and trust first. Stay in the present - enjoy your time with her - but don't think about what happens tomorrow. Or...

I have been on a 6 month "break" and he is an amazing man. He has done things to push me away - things that trigger my anxious attachment. They are not on purpose but they hurt. I doubt even he is aware of what he's doing. I love the man but loathe the illness. In my experience...do not...

All good points. I feel very sad that it's come to this but I'll have to move on.

As an update ...things have taken a turn for the worse. In a week he went from being angry and upset that I ignored him to two days after he asked me to leave him alone and said "my hot/cold was painful". At our mutual event we had normal behaviour three days later. The next day he posted...

I have anxious-avoidant attachment and my BF/exBF is avoidant. I found Erica Djossa's blog post "getting-off-the-roller-coaster-breaking-out-of-the-anxious-avoidant-cycle" (I can't add links yet) points out how avoidant and anxious think... it's an eyeopener.

Hi Gary, I don't have any wisdom for you but just wanted to let you know that there are amazing people on here who have amazing insight and do care. Big Hug if you accept them :)

Just want to say that you guys all rock! I will respond to all of your comments in the next couple of days. Thank you all so much for taking the time, sharing your wisdom and your experiences. Group hug all round!