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''Movement out of the corner of your eye'' ......... All the time ! To finally realise it's just a pile of books on my desk or one of the eyeglass's temples I'm wearing... :meh:

Hi, Since my recent traumatic experience, I can't sleep at night if I'm in the dark unless I'm too exhausted that my brain can't even function properly and imagine some kind of weird stuff. At the beginning, I had a lot of flashbacks and bad images but now it turned out that I'm scared over...

''I prefer chocolate to kisses'' .. Ahah I laughed :) What do you do these days when you are alone ? You can function properly or you are struggling to find anything interesting to do ?

I'm always confused on what to say in that kind of moment.. There are no words that can make someone in your situation feel better. I keep repeating myself that a bit of time and love will fix me and I hope that love and time will fix you too. So for now, I'm just gonna say something in french...

Thank you for the kind words. And yes I'm having some trouble to sleep lately because my grandmother committed suicide 1 month ago and I was there so I have some bad images in my mind. It will pass hopefully, time will fix me eventually.. I hope you will fix your issues as well soon. Keep faith...

''Worse than nightmares, my mind tends to go into this weird dream state between wakefulness and sleep'' What you are describing here is called ''false awakening'' and as you say, it's a terrible experience, I agree..

Same here, trust me, you are not alone in this. I haven't slept for 24 hours. I turned off the light half a hour ago ready to sleep and suddenly I got some sort of panic attack in the dark so I turned on the light and now I'm writing this message to you. I was doing fine lately for a couple of...

@Friday @watundah Btw, If you haven't watched it yet, watch the movie ''hacksaw ridge'', it's based on a true war story. It's the powerful story of one wise man that I perceived as having no self ego but an ''universal'' ego. He is a soldier who served during the pacific war without using...

@watundah, I will defo let you know ;) @Friday , Interesting thought, thank you for sharing. Apparently, there are actually two types of ego: one self centered (selfish ego), and another one that we call ''universal'' ego. I was referring to the first one in this thread, the self centered one...

Thank you very much for sharing this ! I was thinking a couple of minutes ago, ''I wanna read a book but don't know what kind of book tho..'' I think you have just helped me to figure this out = amazon = search for your book and buy it straight away ;)

'The strongest persons are the ones who have no ego'' He then added: ''It's your ego that causes you pain when someone hurts you, detach yourself from it.'' He hasn't taught me a lot of things during my life but what he told me that day is stuck in my mind ever since. This is probably the best...

I feel sorry for the pain you are experiencing, it's terrible and sad. However, some people here have already experienced the suicide of a loved one, be careful when you use certain words because they can be disrespectful to others without you even realizing it. I don't take it too personally...

You say you want to have ''normal conversation'' with a random person or a friend ? What is normal to you should be considered normal to others. If they can't understand that it's because they have not grown up or experienced enough yet in their own life to be able to accept you as a person with...

Ladee, Thank you, your words touch me and really makes me feel better. I'm sorry for the friends you have lost to suicide, that's terrible, I understand where you come now more than ever and will try to convince myself of what you just wrote, it’s sad but it meantime beautiful. I truly...

I suffered from anxiety and depression in the past and I somehow still suffer from it but I learnt to live with it for the past 2 years and I lived a quiet normal life, not too bad. Anyway, that's why I think I can help a bit. You seem to suffer from a very high level of anxiety and...

Ladee, It's simply beautiful what you just said, warms my heart and helps me to be more positive. I can tell you like writting, I might be wrong but I'm almost sure you are good at it. I remember a couple of days ago before she passed away, she looked worried as usual for the past 2 years so...

Thank you for your answers, So last night was a bit better. The hardest part was actually before sleeping, I was very stressed and scared in the dark. I had pictures of my grandmother crying in the corner of my room. Not pretty.. So i turned the light on and faced the wall instead of my room...

Watch the movie ''tree of life''.. Will never get bored of that movie. It's a beautiful movie about love, life, the universe, death, pain, happiness, childhood, memories.. in other word, life in general. Some people say this movie is a masterpiece but many people also hated it. I went to watch...

This message made me smile cause I feel like I was reading something I could have written myself. You are not alone in this and it's normal to feel frustrated. I think It's a good sign to feel frustrated over small things like this, it's part of life. You are a normal human being. I have never...

I'm too exhausting to read books.. and the kind of movie I have always enjoyed watching and am interested in are kind of complex and not all nice and beautiful, maybe better I avoid that kind of stuff for now. Can't even watch the lion king, even in this movie, the scene when Simba looses his...

I really hope I haven't developed PTSD and it's just a short phase I'm going through at the moment. I have already suffered from depression and high level of anxiety in the past but I was doing fine for the past 2 years, still very anxious but I was becoming a better person, less angry and more...

Thank you for the quick answer and the kind words, I feel less fear suddenly even tho I told my story online. Somehow it calmed me down. To be honest, I think I'm also exhausted, just traveled from very far away and it probably doesn't help and I'm currently chain smoking cigarettes like crazy...

Sorry for my english, it is not my first language, could not find a good forum about this issue in my own language. I lost my grandmother 3 weeks ago, she commited suicide, she jumped from the window of my mother's appartment. She was living with my mother for 2 years because since she survived...