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    Publishing Poetry

    Hey everyone I haven't posted in a really long time i guess life gets in the way sometimes as i am a busy mum to a four and seven year old so free time is virtually non existent at times! So the reason for my post is I really enjoy writing poetry in regards to surviving sexual assault and living...
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    Sexual Assault Feeling Extremly Anxious After Opening Up About Sexual Abuse To Someone I Dont Trust

    So feeling really nervous right now :( went to the local pub with my boyfriend and a few friends on new years eve ended up getting really drunk and opening up about my abuse to someone i dont trust and i keep beating myself up about it! Basically when i was 15 my so called best friend arranged...
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    Nightmares And Therapy

    Hi lovely people.. so i joined a womans group for rape survivors back in september after my one on one therapy finished. I suffered a few nightmares here and there when i was going to one on one therapy but nothing severe. Also iv not long ago upped my citaloplam dose to deal with the anxiety...
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    Childhood Letter To My Inner Child

    Inner child i know your there and deep down you know i care. Its just been very tough for me to accept what happened and i hid it from myself for a long time. I understand you must of been very afraid and felt so alone and isolated. Dont worry i am here now to sooth the pain and help you heal...
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    Childhood Inner Child

    Inner child So free and wild Its time to let you out You have been trapped away Now its time to play Its a new day A fresh start iv pushed you away But now your here to stay I hold you close to my heart Im so proud of you After all you went through You manged to soldier on I was afraid to...
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    Childhood Butterfly Emerges

    Danger lurks in front of me Im not blind so why couldnt i see My innocence snatched away Forced into an adult world No childs play Frozen stuck in the same place Life moves at a fast pace Stil i remain here in the past How long will this feeling last 29 but in my mind im 15 Seeing life through...
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    Opening Up After 14 Years

    So feeling a it overwhelmed have opened up to a handful of people about my sexual abuse i experienced but today i opened up to my two longest friends who i have usually shared everything with but was to ashamed until i started my councelling recently to open up about something that happend when...
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    Other Innocence

    Innocence lost As Sun turns to frost Seasons come and go... Her mind is a no show The girl is stuck in a tornado Her life falling apart like playdoh She keeps it all locked inside Hiding the secrets what they did Telling her self that didnt happen to me Im an innocent kid The girl who only knew...
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    Depression Has Hit Me With A Thud :(

    So iv been having therapy for the past 13 weeks now for ptsd caused from sexual abuse. I have bottled up alot of my feelings for many years and have only told a few people besides my therapist. So I feel like iv been coping quite well at therapy with opening a book that has been closed for so...
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    Nightmares After Therapy

    Hi so iv been going to talk therapy for a little while now and each timr im opening up a little bit more. I feel it has helped significantly but after I attended my session on monday ib noticed iv had nighmares all night every night and im waking up sweating and ferling anxious. The nightmates...
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    Other I See Through Your Smile

    I dont know why you carry that smile on your face You should be grimacing instead with disgrace Your nothing but a bully A coward in disguise You cant pull the wool over my eyes I dont know how you can live with yourself with all your secrets and lies Your nothing but a wolf in sheeps clothing...
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    Words

    The words wont come out I want to scream and shout But no sound comes out So I keep it to myself Hide it deep in the depts of my soul And so it takes its toll.... I feel weak for many years to come Emotioonally Numb Then suddenly I emerge Like the Phoenix Bird Im not willing to lose the fight I...
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    Letter To My Mother

    i feel you should of known my cover should of be blown Didnt you hear my crys Notice my secrets and my lies The change in my behavior the anger in my tone The girl I used to be Now a shadow of the new me, You should of held my hand dragged me through the sand Understood the pain i felt The shame...
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    Anyone Else Find It Hard To Cry In Therapy?

    So iv noticed something in therapy whenever im talking about things that are deeply upsetting to me i feel like i want to cry and i can feel it coming but it just wont come out!! Anyone else feel like this? Maybe its got to do with hiding things inside for so long its hard to let it out. When i...
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    Publishing My Story

    Hi guys so it feels like my mind is flowing with creative ideas at the moment so i was thinking of putting it to use and putting pen to paper and maybe even publishing my own story of ptsd in the future. So heres what iv wrote so far.. Any feedback good or bad would be appreciated..... I was...
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    Positive Emotions

    well what can i say don't know what happened at counselling today but its like a whole new person has emerged! i feel like a butterfly emerging for the first time, a snail peeking out of its shell like the smoke screen has gone the shield taken off just liberated and excited at the same time...
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    Other Why Me

    why me i ask when i look back on my life was i at the wrong place wrong time was it carefully planned was i just unlucky i will never know the only thing i can do is move on rebuild lift the shield love again see they were wrong not i they are the disgrace i am the strong one i will get through...
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    Other Healing Words...

    Today after trauma therapy a new emotion arose from the depths of me..... ANGER Figured writing down some words to help me express this so here goes... DISGUST PAIN SUFFERING DANGER HELPLESS FEAR FURIOUS FIRE VICTIM WORRY TRAPPED SMOKE SCREEN REJECTION SADNESS TEARS TENSION AD RELINE RUN KICK...
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    Filling The Void...

    Any one fill as thought they constantly have to keep talking. I hate uncomfortable silence and it makes it squirm when the conversation drys up and someone is looking directly at me so i just try and keep talking to take that attention from me if that makes sense! I think alot of it is down to...
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    Feeling Constantly On Guard

    anyone else feel like their body is constantly in fight or flight mode? even the door going usually makes me jump out of my skin. Is really exhausting :( Also if im expecting to see someone i feel ok but say im out and about and bump into someone it literally frighhtens me and i feel embaressed...
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    Nightmares After Therapy

    Any one else have more increased ni ghtmares/ sleepless nights after therapy? Iv had 3 sessions now and sleep has near enough been unsettled ever since. If anyone has experience this did it gradually settle?
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    Paroxetine For Ptsd

    Hi just wondered if anyone else is taking paroxetine for ptsd and what are their experiences? I have been taking citaloplam for years and it has moderetly controlled my anxiety but stil having regular panic attacks and just not feeling 100 percent. Starting on a low dose of paroxetine next week...
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    Sexual Assault Trauma Councelling

    Hiya iv had two trauma focused counselling session for sexual assaults that took place when i was 15 and 21. Iv only just felt ready to talk about this. I have noticed after the sessions im very drained tired and nauseous.. Has anyone else felt like this and does it get better with more...
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    Sexual Assault Ptsd My Flight Or Flee A Poem I Wrote Today

    My eyes may look sad I feel very mad My fist may be clenched My pillow drenched My thoughts may be hazed My mind a bit dazed But the redness in my face is my attackers disgrace not mine.... For I am strong I have the courage to move on. To be the person i want to be a more confident me. I held...
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