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That is really the key. Do you want to stay and trudge through the addiction with him. Addiction only gets worse before it ever has a chance to be better..... I think the better question is "Do his actions display a willingness to get help?" If not, you have one choice.

yes, yes, and more yes!! Everything you described. Just so I don't forget..... PTSD and meds both can cause memory loss add new therapy into the mix and BOOM......brain is overloaded. Give it time. I have felt like his mom, secretary, therapist (yes, I know I am not), massage therapist...

I would definitely not do couples therapy at the start of his PTSD therapy. From my experience it is too overwhelming. As some of the others suggested I would wait for him to navigate the PTSD coping skills and for himself to have a better understanding of what happened to him. I know it sucks...

Yes, Mam. Life made so much more sense once I started going. You are so right, You have NO idea how much you are becoming affected until you step back and reevaluate life with the help of someone else (on the outside)........Good for you!!

My aunt has always said, "We hurt the ones we love the most because they are safe, in our pain they won't abandon us.." Now, is this BS maybe? But damn (sorry) sure seems true in all of these posts. Of course, there is that arse in every situation that will use any excuse to be an...

@Florian7051 Thank you for sharing that. I am sure it is unpleasant to even talk about some of those moments. I appreciate your candid response. I find most people really do not have a clue what all FF's see on a daily shift and then are unfortunately ignorant enough to ask what is the worst...

Tornado. Good word. You like chaos. Go for it. Untreated anything is usually ( I will say usually to be kind) NOT a stellar way to enter in............ good luck.

I wish he would. After 5 years I kind of stopped suggesting this or that for him. Sad to say. Funny you said that...MY aunt has said that exact phrase since I was 19 (lost my mom early) and has said it a time or two since.......(the horse) I understand...... IT is NOT a line of work very many...

OH, gosh if I only I could take back the thoughts and times I have been divorced in this marriage........ working on it too.

:tup::D:D:D:woot::woot::laugh::laugh::laugh: Now that is funny!!! we all need a good lol

and.....that makes perfect sense that he expends all his energies at work to maintain. Thank you for that perspective.

He did alright. The treatment was cut short due to him receiving an award from our city which he deserved but also should have gone back in after having received it. It was all very political at that point. He still says he is not sure he has PTSD. This stems from his paternal family mostly...

Yea, no not in Canada. I agree and that is why I have always stayed out of his job situation and not called but, the chaplain has asked me to inform him if he "gets" bad again. I won't. I was simply wondering how he is doing well at work and comes home and is a wreck. His last major, of course...

Sad to admit......but I am glad I am NOT the only one who becomes the target of all that is evil and wrong in his life when he is at this stage. And also glad to know my intelligence, why I married him, and why I stay, and all my evil plans to take his money and run are not alone in their...

I am surprised to see so little first responders here.......But thought I would ask anyway. I realize comradery at the station is vital. I appreciate that and know safety and trust must be there for a successful career in the fire service. But what has happened in my particular situation is a...

Sounds perfect. Beach or mountains.......or jungle

hmmmmmm.......Love this so much!!!! So with you today on this.....

I went solo for awhile thinking I could make it through the holiday again.......would love to know how it all turned out!!! Obviously, community rocks a whole lot more than solitude.....:rolleyes:.........Mine learnt nothing and holiday went as usual and we are at usual bad place....

^^^I only say this bc it seems a bit dire and expedient. My first responder was allowed to go but he was one of the first.......it was the best of all treatment centers.

@Eva anamarie I believe there are some great emergency places....Sounds like you guys got ahold of the atypical bad Psychiatrist (sorry they ARE NOT My FAV) psychologist all day long but, we need both. I don't want to overwhelm you but research for both!!! He was just dealt a shit hand with...

You are welcome @Eva anamarie that is what we are all here for (I believe) I am surprised that the VA was not more help. Glad to know they suggested this website!! I know some VA are better than others depending on the state. Our city is one of the biggest in our state and our emergency...

Funny @GrayOwl The cookies are because he also has had substance abuse co-occurring. So when he is symptomatic he goes on sweet eating binges....So I was being snarky!! I am a bit of that.....sarcastic, even if I am the only one "getting" it!!!:laugh::laugh::laugh:

@Sweetpea76 you may have some great input here....... Always love your wisdom and wit

@Eva anamarie Yes. Mine....my husband is in the emergency response for over 17 years. Everything you described he has done even down to the bug out bag..... I will say from my own experience when he is not in counseling he spirals! Even while on meds, he is on 4 different meds., for him, the...

So sorry. I think all the supporters on here can attest to feeling exactly this way one TOO many times......hoping it gets better or has. @StressedHusband @Katosaur @Beautifulmess and so on.......