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I don't mind nagging. Its a little voice in my head that keeps telling me to leave it alone. My X husband was an alcoholic and through Alanon I learned to not force treatment. That they have to hit bottom etc. But I do have an idea. He applied for an apartment in Vegas. Haven't heard back...

Yes. I did manage to get him to go for a check up and I went with him. And he actually did have an appointment for his PTSD. We had an argument one day and he cancelled it. He has refused since then to make another. Who knows if he would have actually gone had he not cancelled it. He tells...

StrongHeart. We were a boyfriend/girlfriend in high school. He joined the Army when he was 17, got sent to VietNam at 18. Served 2 tours there. Before he left for VietNam he told me not to wait for him. I took it that he was blowing me off. I don't really remember but I don't think I...

StrongHeart...I have suggested more times than I care to remember that he get in a program at the VA for his PTSD, and also to apply for VA disability. He has told me that many many many years ago he was diagnosed, put on meds, told that he could get disability. But he didn't like the meds and...

My emotions are involved right now. In my head I know what is best. And that is letting him go. I sometimes, well most of the time, get so wrapped up I can't think rationally. We went out tonite. We went to a couple bars (about the only think we do together) but I ran into some people that...

I have always been under the impression that someone has to want and get treatment on their own. That it has nothing to do with loving someone, being loved, having love (except for ones self). Today I had someone (not on this site) tell me " he needs to realize how his PTSD effects you in a...

I'm having such a bad day. I don't want him to leave. I don't want to loose him. But I keep telling myself he is already lost.. to PTSD. I keep going over and over in my head what I could do differently. I keep saying it is not his fault. I keep asking myself why I can't detach from his...

A new day...I wish it could be different. I wake up and realize that "my dream" is over. In a small way my situation is different. He doesn't isolate. He wants to be with me continually. What happens with him is that he can not handle any type of stress. Even little things that I wouldn't...

My head agrees with you. My heart is another thing. And to your question, yes my empathy has been key to most of my difficult situations in my life. I've managed to get thru them and I suspect I will get thru this too. I was just thinking that I know he will need to sign a lease when he gets...

Mine always says he knows he needs to live alone, in a room, where he won't bother anyone. He tells me he knows he is messed up. By him saying these things it makes me more sad. Like he doesn't mean all that happens (and I do know he doesn't)) - it is the way he is. He says he is resolved to...

That has brought me to tears because I feel the same way...and I am also letting go. You are not alone in this battle. And maybe "they" are right in letting us go. I like to think that my sufferer is still the person I remember when we were 15. Good luck to you and yours.

I must be so filled with anger. Now I'm getting really angry at myself. Because I'm once again feeling sorry for him. He apologized for yelling last nite, but I was right in there with him. I have to make sure I don't start waivering. It wouldn't be good for him or me at this point. I...

I'm angry because he just asked me "may I have a cup of coffee?" - yes that made me angry! does he actually think I'm that much of a B**** that I wouldn't "let" him have a cup of coffee???

amethist: I would tell a friend to run for the hills. And I know that's what I need to do for my own sanity. It's the "what could have beens" that are hard to let go of. WillyKat: I do know that I can't make him get treatment. I just don't understand why he wouldn't make that choice. And...

I am so angry. Angry at PTSD. Angry at my sufferer because he won't try to get treatment.. He's a VietNam Vet for heavens sake. There is treatment out there for him. The VA is 6 miles from here. But he refuses. I'm angry at myself because I can't deal with his PTSD. I'm angry with myself...

OK - I know alot of you have read my other posts. I'm 64 - my high school boyfriend and I reconnected last year. At first it was wonderful, then out of the blue PTSD rears it's head. Fast forward. We had been living together at my home. In May we split up and he went back to Vegas. After 3...

Yes you can offer. You can say if there is anything I can do let me know, but then you have to let it go. Which is what codependants have a hard time doing. We want to fix that other person. I know from experience. Letting go is something I have a hard time doing. I always think "maybe if...

You can feel for the person but not try to "fix" it. Give them the courtesy of taking care of themselves, something that codependant people have a hard time doing. Sometimes it underminds the other persons self worth.

So true Eleanor. And to me there is such a fine line between caring and being codependant or an enabler. I can usually tell after the fact whether I did something because I cared or if it is my codependancy kicking in. If it is my codependancy, I'm usually angry when the other person doesn't...

Just had another thought. Since I don't like other people to "hurt" I never really let them feel what they need to feel to help themselves. That is a disservice to them. I think it makes them feel like they are incapable. Is any of this making sense?

With me Codependence and caretaking are one in the same. And I'm highly guilt of both. When someone has a problem I feel as if it is my responsibility to fix the problem. I put other peoples feelings and problems before my own. I don't like to see people unhappy. As you are probably saying...

I apologize to all that I offended using the word tantrum. I don't think I ever used it with him. I think I have said melt down to him. But anything is possible I guess. Dealing with PTSD is not easy. I know that. I wish I could just wave a majic want and take all his pain and hurt away...

Some of you have read my other posts so if I'm repeating myself I apologize. My boyfriend is a PTSD sufferer. He will not get treatment for it. How it manifests itself is that he will have outbursts when he gets upset. You never know when. He gets upset over things that don't phase me in...

I feel depressed and so sad. I had a great week with my cousin (like a sister) and her husband visiting here. They left this morning. I just feel totally alone today.

Today I'm feeling remarkably happy. My cousin from out of town is coming for a few days. Can't wait!