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Yes that why I stay away from water since that is when it mostly comes on. I know when I am more depressed then usual. I stay active most times since my job is labor intensive and I roller 🛼 and ride my bike. I don't call my T for urgent appointments. She tells me to call her but I wait until...
Right I'm not the impulsive type but when it comes down to suicide I'm more impulsive then usual. I have been in the hospital and suicidal watch because of it. One time I was at the beach and I just got this overwhelming feeling of wanting to leave so I walked into the water knowing I can't swim...
I never had a plan to just go and kill myself more like I see an opportunity that fits me I go for it. I have tried plenty of times but still here. I do stay away from water cause I tend to think about killing myself more when I'm around it. Even taking a bath I have tired to end it all so just...
Nothing just bring me back as air so I can enjoy everything all at once and be able to see the endless world around. If I'm upset just be a tornado. I don't want to come back as anything living.
I'm so angry right now that I would like to punch someone.
I feel weak because I allowed myself to cry in front of the person that hurt me.
Mad at myself because I could not control my emotions.
I'm tried of not being ok.
I'm pissed of angry and down right tired of family that try to come in and out my life. On that note I'm happy I know I'm angry at the situation. It's hard being numb.
My food box just got delivered. I never tried the food kits before so hope this one is good.
I think this weather or something is messing up my mirgains.
I just had rice with some eggs. I tired Hungarian sweet paprika. It was good with the eggs and rice. I only bought the paprika for a recipe I'm try to make next week for my meal prep. I had water to drink.
I can't really function when I allergies. I don't get them all the time or even once a year but they do come up during spring every once in a while.
Everytime I get them which it's not even bad allergies just sneezing every now and then but my body gets so tired.
Go to work and be nodding off...
My day about having some many thought pop up and don't know what to do with them.
Like right now I hate the DNA I share with my parents. My parents were evil demons and so I feel like one. I don't look at my siblings as evil though but they also were not being groomed the same way I was to be...
I had a drink pineapple, strawberrys with bananas and oat milk. Mix in a blender a had a good drink. I'm try to run to the store after work and see if I can start this week doing a meal prep and start eating.
Good luck to me.
I been thinking of how I can't remember faces and can't even remember mine. Once in a while I look in the mirror and remember like oh I had freckles forgot all about that and right I had that scar on my face from when I was a kid and just forgot it was still there. I will look at random pictures...