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I'm so sorry that you are going through this. I don't have much advice because I've been seeking my dad's attention / approval/ validation for years and even at 30, I still don't feel like I'm enough. Is there anyway to get away from your current environment? Maybe stay with your inlaws? Also...
I'm really glad you asked this. It's interesting and I sometimes have the same thoughts during masturbation. I will be watching this thread for more answers.