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Thanks Anthony

As soon as I talk about my trauma I get tears and a lot of emotion,

I can honestly say that talking freely with my psychologist has lifted a huge wieght from my mind, I now have drugs for the anxiety and with that under control I can deal with what's in my head,

I looked at it different I payed someone $150 to tell them stuff that would make most people fee ill, That's her job to sort me out but like I said before you have to in the right frame of mind to deal with and even after that it's a hard road as I'm finding out.

You just do it, when you get to that very bad place the only thing that helps is to talk about it, Then you will feel a bit of relief, I was at my lowest point on my first visit so I just opened up with what I could remember and two and a half hours and a box of tissues it was all out in the open.

Due to my melt down last week I had to inform the operations manager about my problem, He sent me to HR where I was offered counselling and time off, not what I expected

I don't prey or believe in a god

I tryed drugs and alcohol and it worked but it's not my recommendation as I was lucky to wake up, I am getting 4 hours sleep a night at best

I am right where you are now, Six weeks into therapy and all the bad stuff that I have locked away for 30 years is in my face, They told me the same thing it's going to get worse before it gets better and it has, I have to deal with this now,

Still getting used to medication, slight headache and a bit hazy but much better than extreme anxiety

From what I have seen in all cases on this forum even in my own case what you get is honest opinion, It's not sugar coated, In real life you get that too and if you take a minute to think about who you are asking, a bunch of people exactly where you are at with the same feelings, So if you want...

I worked away from home a fair bit and allways used share accomodation and some places sucked and some didn't, Just let them settle in, there will be some conflict and that's normal, I'm at home now and my wife is a clean freak and I am not, Give them there space.

With the drugs kicking in I have to say I am feeling good

Asking for help is one of the hardest things I have ever done, I was in a very bad way while visiting my doctor for another reason, and I just said there's one more thing and gave him my best description of what I was feeling and he needed to leave his office to get me tissues, I allways found...

My fourth visit to a psychologist happened on Friday and I will be on weekly visits from now on, My focus at the moment is on dealing with the anxiety because that is my main issue that stops me from trying grounding methods, my emotions are all over the place, I talked about my mixing diazepam...

Since starting on this site I have been searching for a story like mine, I was the first on the scene of a horrible road accident and I was unable to do anything, it was horrific. I talked to the passenger and gave him comfort as he slowly died, there were four in the car but I could only see...

I can't believe you posted that lol

It was my first time ever using Valium and it did nothing, I poured all the scotch down the drain this morning removing the risk, I have anxiety now but maybe only six out of ten, last night it was off the scale. As for the Vallium I'll talk to my doctor on Saturday as its not for me, I think I...

Well I'm at work tonight and it's hard to believe I was in such a state last night, my anxiety is allmost not at all, scotch has been my sleeping pill of choice for many years and it takes a large glass of it these days to do anything, three 5mg Diazepam in 12 hours and a scooner of 50/50 scotch...

I feel better now the third one in twelve hours hit the spot, so I wentback to bed and slept for another four hours, I still have a little anxiety but nothing I can't handle, Thank you all for your help, I have a Doctors appointment on Saturday so I'll tell him the story then, I have my...

I have just taken my third in twelve hours and I feel like I am getting some affect but only mild anxiety now I can deal with

@Justmehere thank you for the advice, I think it is more unbearable because it has come after three good days feeling super dooper, I let my self get triggered by a friend in pain with the loss of her brother on the weekend. And I feel back to my old self again,

ok my wife said they are 5mg

I have never taken any drugs for anxiety, I will be at the doctors when they open and find out what they have given me

I started on it last night and it did nothing