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@hodge thank you. Unfortunately, I don't have any insurance or money for medication or therapy. I'm scared to take any medication really, addiction runs in the family.

I'm already having a hard time falling asleep and staying asleep. And then I keep getting these nightmares and this last one really got to me and I don't know why and now I don't feel safe in my bedroom. In the dream, I'm changing the station on my radio and it's dark in my room, but with a blue...

@Fadeaway Thank you for taking the time to read what I have to say and to try and help me through this. It means a lot to know that there's someone out that really understands.

Sometimes. It depends on what triggered me or what I'm panicking about. A lot of the time I feel like there's something in me that needs to get out, so I'll thrash around, scream, cry, hyperventilate, scratch myself. Anything to try to get whatever is in me, out.

Mine is the exact opposite, I sometimes feel as if my chest is expanding and that I've got to scream to let it out. Have her lay on her back and take deep breaths. The 7-8-9 method works. Breathe in for seven seconds, hold for eight, exhale for nine.

@Fadeaway i'm doing better now than when I was in high school. My boyfriend is a contributing factor to that. Unfortunately I clung onto the emotional stability that he gave me and now I'm having trouble coping while he's in a different state visiting friends. I feel childish, unable to control...

@Fadeaway you're right, about trying to be opposite. I've struggled with addiction myself, a couple of different forms, and every time I look in the mirror I see her. I do my damnedest to be different but it doesn't really seem to help. I feel like nothing does, talking only rehashes the feelings.

It's not that I want to die exactly. Just that I find it easier than living I suppose. I think about it a lot. More often than not, how I would do it. And then I wonder who would care, who would pretend they knew me, who would be disgusted or angered. I think about it more when I'm depressed...

Thank you all. And @Fadeaway, my mom was into many substances as well. Her boyfriend got her into all of that crap and she lost her mind. I'm terrified of the damage he left behind in her. But I cant do anything to help because she doesn't think anything is wrong.

I'm new to this, talking about my problems with people who actually understand, at least I hope you do. I have a blog and all, but let's be honest, no one really takes the time to read what I have to say. I've come to find that nobody cares about anyone else's misery unless it benefits them. I'm...

The week before and after my period, I always feel like I'm horrendously unwanted and spend most of the time crying or trying to sleep away how hopeless I feel. Trying being the operative phrase as I can't sleep for the life of me. I'm sorry you've experienced it too.