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Hiya folks. I just found this forum and figured it seemed like it would be another good step on my recovery journey. My story is....long and weird....I'll condense it as much as I can. I kind of have to say the whole thing for it to make sense why I'm here. Ever since I can remember, I've had...

I'm in the US but you said it was online, right? I wouldn't mind looking her up. Doubt my insurance would cover it though and I'm broke :/

What did the life coaching entail? I was doing well and recovering last week and then my next therapy session hit and I crashed again. It's distressing.

I think my therapist is very sensitive and has always respected when I told her my limits were being pushed. Still I am beginning to question if bringing everything up is really going to be helpful to me. Awful that you spent all that money for minimal help.

Thank you! :) Though I can't really say I'm glad to be here....anyhow when I admitted to my therapist about feeling this way she told me I would continue to have setbacks but each time would be less intense and I'd recover more quickly, sort of like what you said. Right now it's just bad...

My first post on here, wow. Anyways I am really, really struggling with therapy right now. It's stupid because we have barely breached some of the worst stuff and I'm a flipping mess suddenly, all of the time. I feel like I've gone into some sort of full-blown regression and I've moved years...

I only become aware that I tense up whenever I am touched. Though my therapist says I must be tense a lot because I regularly have really painful awful muscle cramps, especially in my legs and feet.

Mostly from a period of horrific psychosis I experienced during high school. Though it also comes from sources like going my entire life with mental illness with no support whatsoever, and living in a house with an explosive and control-freak dad. Though I feel it's mostly from that time period...

I have suffered from horrific nightmares ever since I was a very young child. They became much more mild/less frequent for a period of years during my adolescence but returned with a vengence during late high school, because of really bad things going on in my life. I've had plenty of...

My history with the mental health field has been complicated because my distrust/paranoia around the system and people did not help me be fully open about my experiences. First official therapist I saw that wasn't my school psychologist told me I had symptoms as though I had experienced severe...

My family doesn't even know 10% of what I experience and have experienced, so I can't say they're all that supportive. Most of us get along very well but we are not an intimate and share feelings kind of family. As for how my trauma has changed my relationships with my family members, I guess...

Mom never believed anything I went through and always avoided the issues I would talk to her about. Caused a lot of internalizing on my part and now I'm prone to minimalizing my problems and feelings and beating myself up for having them. So I shut her out more and more and then gave up on her...

It effectively ruined my relationship with God. I'm doing my best to repair it but I don't know if it will ever be like what it used to be.

My therapist tells me the same thing. She says I don't know how to be happy or "just be." When I'm happy I almost feel scared, like I'm challenging something. I also feel like I know what you're talking about with the "Tasmanian devil" state. I've experienced those feelings as well, feeling...

Of course it's unsettling to know reality isn't as you thought it was. I can feel you on this as well, I had it in my head that bad things had happened to me throughout all of high school when in reality it was only for about 1 1/2 years of it. In my case the truth was better! That's why I...

I agree with the intense exercise thing people are saying. Go work out. Working out every single day was pretty much the only thing that could release some of my anger. Walking helps me too though....listening to music....sometimes just writing all the angry thoughts down helps me as well.

Well for me dissociation is completely bizarre and weird and before I knew what it was I literally called it "tripping out" because it felt like I was on drugs or something. There also different types....I feel like it's something many people can experience differently, as it is such a...

Wow....I'm the same way....I'm also "drawn" to my triggers. I'm not sure if my therapist really understands and you're the first other person I heard mention this.... I'll end up feeling awful and guilty and hating myself when something I do on purpose sets me off. I sought it out so it was my...

I agree with you, I don't identify with my "trauma self" at all. I hate that side of me. I don't like being a victim and I don't like feeling sad and fragile and disturbed. Also don't like the hyper-aggression it sometimes causes in me and don't identify with that at all. Like you I also...

I made a post about this on a different website the other day actually. "....my mental/emotional state crashes. It's like the world becomes ugly. I'm hit by despair and hopelessness. It's painful. I become depressed and withdrawn. Sometimes I get bad flashbacks and feel like things are hurting...