Search results

@Butterfly How many times have we read on this forum that PTSD is very treatable? My guess is that way too many therapists do not have adequate training in treating Trauma and way too many sufferers have not been treated by a therapist that are properly trained. Not all sufferers are created...

Wow Justmehere. Your last post really moved me. I am really glad that things worked out for you both as it did. It takes courage to say the truth as he did about his own condition and it seems that you both put a lot of thought into how to say things. It takes time to find a language that is not...

“Can I be relied on? Can I be accountable and self reflect when I hurt someone? Can I compromise? Can I control my rage? Can I stay consistent when I make a decision? Can I trust that others are not trying to hurt me? Can I stop the questions from flooding my head? “ And in worse case scenario...

I absolutely loved this: "If you're not able to solve the big problems in your life, you create new one's that you know will be solvable. Like I can't heal the emotional wounds, so I create physical ones that I know will heal. It's a small piece of control when the rest of your life is out of...

This>>One weird thing about me is that sometimes I do SH because it makes me feel good to treat the wounds afterwards and watch them heal- not because I enjoy the pain I never self harmed but I use to be very suicidal. The disconnect between brain and heart is also very true for me. Surrounding...

Is not believing related to not trusting? How could you take baby steps that would raise your trust in your own abilities to love yourself? Are there any self loving acts you could slowly start practicing? I am talking about distractions that make you feel good about who you are. You already...

A good therapist will help you to think about the thoughts that you are having and help you realize that you are not your thoughts. However, we humans react to our thoughts and the resulting feelings these thoughts create. The things that happen to us in the past are buried away in memories and...

Funny, I was thinking the same thing about how you have changed for the better. You seem much more mature, confident and although I have always liked the advise you give advising is something you have practiced a whole lot on this forum lfs. Do you have that same sense of growth that others here...

And there is also all that “ vampire (alias toxic people) that suck up your energy” talk. ....so even when someone has invited you to open up and you do cause you are feeling vulnerable, why do we have to worry about how it will be received to top? To me, it feels that I am being setup and that...

Ignore if I am bombarding you with too much but see if Bryon Katie's The Work is useful. It was a game changer for me and while her method challenges, the steps are easy. Also online. Smart people realize that working on ourselves is a lifetime process and nothing to feel embarrassed about. You...

I wish I knew why so many people tend to say "no, don't tell me anymore"@ lfs Have you considered that it can feel like you are ripping off their well glued perfectly filtered masks? In my family, they deny everything. I make them feel responsible. So I always add "and you did the best you could...

This: “My supporters thought If I dumped what I'm thinking on them then I have to deal with THEIR emotional fall out. And I don't want to.” Less experienced supporters will sometimes get accused of being abusive by their partners much to their surprise. No one would expect much from a dying...

I have been on both sides of being supporter and sufferer. I got on the forum cause I believed someone when he told me he had PTSD. Turns out he has a less well known and understood condition called schizotypal. It is often comorbid with borderline and PTSD. I have ADHD and have been raised by a...

Welcome to the forums.

I googled quora: https://www.quora.com/How-do-I-stop-being-obsessed-about-someone And https://www.quora.com/Why-do-people-become-obsessed-with-others are two threads full of help on the topic. My obsession typically manifested itself as a 24/7 focus on the person I was trying to have a...

Ronin ever hear about attachment theory? Show me the parents and I will show you the kind of romantic relationship the kids are having.

Well actually sensitive people do die from a broken heart. There are medical terms for this. To be honest, I have no idea if those poor souls feel tortured but apparently there is a whole lot of stress involved so perhaps it is fair to compare their suffering with PTSD sufferers. One thing is...

I get tons of intimacy through talking these days with 30 year olds. It's cause it's safe to do that with someone who sees you as too old to be in a sexual relationship with them. Sometimes we think a guy can't open up when the truth is he can't with you if you are gf material. Apparently their...

Why do I stay with him Butterfly? I light up like a Christmas tree when he is around. When he is not throwing mud pies at me, I like the things he says and the way he says them. I like how I have changed since I have known him. I love disproving to him that he is unlovable. He can't say nobody...

@Friday What a beautiful story Thank you for sharing. I have always valued your insights regardless of whether or not we have agreed.

And if you had had kids, Butterfly and he had talked that way to them, wouldn't it had been also a deal breaker? And haven't we all been jerks to someone who is less deserving? "Be nice or walk away". That's what you say to jerks. So I remember Anthony posting on the forum that being close with...

Can't habits change? Can't wounds heal? You are right that hurting less is not necessarily good but neither is it necessarily bad. If he was an alcoholic who abused you when he drank, it would be so much easier to find blame. I imagine that stress is the drug that alters their perception. The...

@TruthSeeker, Butterfly I could have written these posts myself ... Same thoughts and wordings. In fact, I keep wondering if regardless of the reasons why he won't/can't do the initial contacting if he seems genuinely grateful that I do is that enough? And if I never hear an "I miss you", is...

Obssesion and the compulsive irrational behaviours that can result are not minor imo. It has been 15 years since I dealt with those crazy making feelings and I would not wish that on my worse enemy. Often we pick it up from some adult that acted that way while growing up. Perhaps you can find a...

Intimacy means deeply knowing another person and feeling deeply known. Part of that is being able to acurately predict behaviour. I felt this for the first time with my father. He was affectionate, promiscuous, avoidant (would have odd sleeping habits so that he was not around the family)...