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that allow growth

HI SoL I actually did try and wrote a letter trying to get things on a more positive note, they refused to answer my letter. For me it was closure. I could move on. I could shut that door of trying to make them behave differently towards me or trying to get an apology off them when they...

Hi All I like to feel now that there is no pressure on me to be part of a social group. I realised that all my chasing and trying was all based on what I thought I should do rather than what I wanted to do. I latched onto to people out of this need to not be seen as 'billy no mates' or...

I went a long time isolated in general mainly because I did not trust my own ability to attract the right people or deal with triggers or read the situation correctly. Until I learnt what I liked and did not like, what type of person I like and to be assertive enough to listen to my instincts...

HI I never got an apology of any kind. Previously I thought I wanted one and that would make it better. However, by not apologising it reinforced my views of them as people. The type of people who will not accept their responsibilities or their part in the abuse. I found that by...

I wonder if he will get the death penalty? Well done to all involved in catching this non human. Best wishes Saffy :)

My thoughts go out to all those involved whatever nationality. It is a sad state of affairs that someone should target innocent people to make a point? They have not even told us what it is yet. I know here in the UK there were talks of stopping the London marathon but the opinions...

ourselves and others

Hi Circa47 I agree. You have to build the confidence to admit that you do not want to choose between them. I can see a lot of bitterness towards the rest of the family, you parents rightly so, your sister I think you should leave her to make her own decisions and not focus on the lack of...

Hi SoL It is obvious that most of your issues stem from you lack of self esteem and the way you think about yourself. Although some will say it is a weakness I like to believe that it is just a state of being caused by external traumas out of our control. But however you like to see it, it...

Hi WorkofFire There is no need to apologise for getting things off your chest and discussing things that bother you. How else are you going to grow and learn about yourself and others? :hug: I understand that pattern. I have followed it many times. I would like to comment on...

Hi WorkofFire I understand what it is like to fear rejection. It is a heavy burden to hold onto making it difficult to allow something to go forward. I realised I was making it worse by taking a rejection as a personal attack that something must be wrong with me. That someone would leave...

I have a lot of songs that make me feel positive, smile or loose myself in peace and calm. Music is a very powerful force. I tend to choose music has good messages attached to them if I can but sometimes they might just be something chilled. I wouldn't say I had a definite favourite that...

Hi nodoubt Understanding certain feelings and emotions is part of the healing process I think. I found by accepting that they were there it gave me some power to stop the thoughts and replace them with positive ones. It was almost like telling myself to shut up, not allow myself to be...

water

the warm breeze

HI Stuff, I have to say you are taking far to much responsibility for him and anyone else you might meet. It could be you are projecting your feelings onto others too. You have apologised and even tried to explain yourself over and over again. I find trying to get through or trying not...

HI Intrasearching It sounds like you love this girl to bits which is great :) Everyday she is in your life; it is a pity you have lost so many happy days with feeling like this. I have been through the same darkness/heaviness. It is an awful feeling. What I learnt in the end was that I...

Hi Stuff I am confused about this. Can I ask what happens when you get triggered? do you get really anxious and your head starts racing with negative thoughts? I only ask because I would think this would make you say some irrational things when triggered. I do myself. I wondered if it...

I think this is a problem for a lot of people when considering Christianity and other faiths. I like to believe that the 'teachings' of Jesus were just that teachings which were based on ancient stories and behaviours that focused on humanity and personal behaviours and attitudes. 'God' is...

Thanks SoL I Found that some stuff really helped me and I hope it will you too. :) I found a lot of things I wrote down really gave me a head start in knowing what to look for and what to a avoid. Gave me a sense of personal power. :) I understand your concern for your brother, but, you...

I think it can have some negative affects on certain people. Whether the content caused you to be traumatized or whether it leads to at trigger. They put advertisements on tv because they are trying to influence you to buy or act or do a certain thing. Therefore there must be a correlation...

respect

Ditto Junebug :) you are the good thing nothing else matters unless you choose to make it important to you personally. Most things are out of our hands. We continue to survive focusing on how other behave and what their attitudes are allowing it to make a difference to our lives even though...

Hi Cookinggal I think you are doing the right thing to wait so that you do not compromise your integrity. Your boundaries are tied to your belief in marriage before sex. If you are saving to get married he must have it in mind. Can I ask, How long have you been together? Has he been...