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I am grateful for finding this group. I no longer feel so alone in my head.

Oh, man! Now I'm crying. Not bad crying, but a release. Is it really possible that a group of strangers online can give me the support I need to finally accept that I was a victim and that I'm deserving of caring, sympathetic help? To finally accept that I don't have to go through it all...

It's so confusing when I also remember the good times. Was it really all that bad? I think that's where I get hung up. I don't have a ton of memories, but there are several of my mom and I doing fun things together. Does that balance it all out? If it wasn't always bad, shouldn't I just be able...

Thank you all for taking the time to comment. It means a lot to have some people hear me and maybe even understand me.

This will be long and unedited. I just need to put this out into the universe. I don't expect anyone to actually read it. Where to start? My depression and anxiety became unbearable a couple of months ago so I finally decided to see if a counselor could help me figure out a couple of things. I...