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Thanks so much for being understanding. She just has to understand that while it may not feel different to her-- she feels equally eager to talk to me (that's what she said) and it will be private (she assures me)-- that it feels different to me, and that it was very sudden. I hope she'll...

Well that was really bad. She wrote back and said she hadn't thought it'd be a big deal (because we've rescheduled other times) and sorry she triggered me and her family member would be there at least 2 weeks now and might be moving in and so we could never have a session without him at home...

Well, I wrote her back and I hope she'll be gentle and empathetic rather than impatient or put off, sigh, but that's always the risk when being honest about things like this. I wrote: Hi, I just saw your message. I feel put on the spot and I'd rather not meet today because then I'll just be...

I love how your girlfriend manages guests, I think that would be perfect. My therapist is definitely going with her guest, she said "they" were getting haircuts together, that's why she wanted to meet a little late, but I wish she'd do it your way! :) Thanks. ETA: crosspost :)

Ugh, she wrote me back, I just saw the msg., and instead of acknowledging my plan change to reschedule she said not to worry, she'd be upstairs which was totally private and that it had just been the only time she and her guest were able to get an appointment. She said she was eager to hear all...

She's been really mothering to me and we call her my "good enough mother" a therapeutic term. She's there for me a tremendous amount and very nurturing so that probably enhances the transference, so there are drawbacks and benefits. Yep, I'll definitely tell her how I feel when we talk. Thanks. :)

I think you got me with the word "deserve." Teared up thinking about that. I've really been struggling with that. I don't have a mother in my life and I just had a very similar snafu with my one aunt, who I haven't seen in a long time, where she was going to come visit me but then asked me if...

My therapist works from home, we do phone sessions and email, more than three years now. We both had weekend plans, family staying with her, a rare overnight getaway for me and a session scheduled this morning. She just wrote me to ask if we could meet 30 minutes later than planned today. I said...

Well, I've invited her to always feel free to share any health concerns (mental health or otherwise) with me. I'm open to examination on most everything. So, that's not really an issue, and it's moreso that for example, while we were saying something like "I'm having a hard time finding the...

It's about a spiritual belief that I practice through diet and other ways.

She also said several times that she did accept and respect my beliefs, but what happened, it seems to me, was that when she got to feeling defensive, she played devil's advocate in an unprofessional way. I consider it unprofessional not that she wanted to examine my beliefs but the way she did...

I wasn't asking for a referral to another therapist. She said she knew of research that proved my beliefs were harmful. I asked her to share the research with me because I was skeptical and wanted to review it myself, and she wrote to me: "Google it. You are not helpless! I have to go."...

Yes, that's exactly what she thought. She said she was surprised by the vehemence of my words and that I was saying "you" a lot so she felt judged/attacked. I get that. She didn't handle it properly though and that's my issue. I've told her it's unacceptable to jab at me the way she did and she...

My therapist does not physically hold me. In fact, we only do online and phone therapy, it's a long distance arrangement. What I mean by holding is containing my experience, giving me a safe space to be myself and being warm and compassionate when I need it. Holding meaning.... to keep track of...

We're trying to work it out. I was heartbroken and tried a final time to explain what went wrong and how it hurt, hurt me and our relationship. She... seemed to understand some at least. Then... I got depressed, feeling pathetic and like dying...so low that it took this much work to get through...

It was a phone session, we've done long distance therapy the past 3.5 years, and then we continued on Skype.

I don't think I can sort it out unless she somehow gets to a place of understanding we were off track and that she wasn't acting as my ally, she was tangled up and also that she was mistaken. She'd had tucked away in her head "research" against my belief that was simply wrong and irrelevant...

I could use help with discipline and we'd do better if she would help me with accountability in certain things, but I've settled for her being caring, yes, it's been worth it along with her other gifts like creativity, humor, availability, experience, warmth and teaching me things like to...

I agree- we shouldn't argue about politics/religion/beliefs. And I think that's part of what got me- that as I was *talking* about mine, she interjected telling me not to be judgemental, and before I knew it... she was debating me. :(

Yes, it was never the issue for me. I mean sure I care about my belief, but we were talking about it not to annoy her or upset or challenge her, though she felt that way after she asked if our differences bothered her, but we were talking about it because I needed an area where I felt good about...

"what do you think she is thinking and feeling right now?" Forgot to answer that. Well, she wrote me a letter earlier detailing her beliefs and where she got them, and that when she told me judgment would be the end of spirituality that it was based on her years of study and was very important...

Yes, she did make a comment about my father being in bed with my husband and I, and it was HORRIBLY triggering. I felt.... like I'd had the wind knocked out of me and a bomb planted inside simultaneously. It was very disturbing given my history and probably deeply insensitive. That was early in...

Ha, Pencil, I'd never slap you, I know you speak in good faith. :) I don't feel it's abusive, but I have experienced a number of moments... infrequently but some over the years where she definitely seemed defensive and reactive in a way that caused setbacks. Then again, there were also unusual...

We've disagreed on this the entire 3.5 years, it hasn't been an issue. Like you said- yes, it's more not being heard. The belief is only an issue now because she disrespected me (and she felt I judged her) and because she lost track of the real issue was that we talked about my beliefs to help...

I asked her for that a while back... that if we were falling apart... she would work to hold us together. I know she can't do it on her own... but yes, I admit to wanting the trust of knowing.... she's holding steady. It's on me that I said I couldn't do this anymore and she would see me again...