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I can't explain it. Like if she would of told me in 05 I would of broken up with her instead of the other way around leaving me in confusion as to why she broke up with me and that it was all my fault. Sorry to say this but what she did you don't do to a person and I mean it's lifelong...

Ok, my ex no longer packs the punch my thoughts would make of her. The reality of what she did and never told me kinda collapsed any feelings for her. I don't hate her. Love thy neighbor as thyself. She is a Christian. Moving in remarkable ways. I can't explain why I feel the jealousy is...

It waxes and wanes. I become very loving than I get jealous. It's like these feelings will not go away. It's been eleven years. In a lot of ways I feel like a stalker even tho I don't even stalk. The only thing I've done was asked for a sincere apology from her. I gave her mine in 09 and she...

I'm often tormented by my break up in 05. So many things happen all at once that I was in no shape to be seen by my ex at the time. It just ruined my life. What I did gain out of it is assurance that I and her are going to heaven. I'm just trying to get past the traumatic break up I had. She...

I'm just so tired of seeing what could of been. I want to accept what is.

my ex. I often find myself ruminating how good it would of been without the secrets and drugs to destroy our relationship. I just want to come to terms with how brutal the break up was. It is kinda like a movie were the soldier goes to war and they get a note back saying he's dead so she gets...

Help me oh Lord to forget the past and look unto a rich future that You have promised to those who love you.

It's actually for the person that cared about me but just didn't know how to show it to me because she thought I was going to throw her away like trash. The lord has shown me what the problem was and it took eleven years to find that out. Either our secrets which where hidden in darkness are...

I know Christ. The emptiness in my heart has been filled. I don't know my place in the world. It's hard to give the Lord the steering wheel and just allow Him to help us walk by faith. I guess the Lord still has to prune me through the valleys so I see how Awesome He is. I know God. It's a...

Like Paul I had an abnormal birth into the faith. I saw things and heard things I never imagined where real as a human being. This made me gain a lot of interest into being a Christian. I still desire like every human to be with someone. It's not that I don't have faith in God that He can do...

i can feel every emotion as if in this human body I was standing before God. I think at one time I must of died and went there. With my sins laying bare and nothing to help me. I was whisked back into the human realm where I suffered for almost a year of a psychosis. I was so hard headed that I...

I know this wasn't really a question but more an outpouring. I decided to give my life to Christ. I don't have to worry about a mate or my children. The world is getting more wicked every day. God says He will keep me from the hour of tribulation that comes upon the whole world to test those...

No, I'm pretty much staying away from all supplements and really just trying to take meds as prescribed. I noticed when I do what needs to be done I get better without any intervention.

What is up with me. I must be very stubborn. A veil has been lifted off my eyes about my relationship in 05. I now understand why she acted the way she did but I keep it a secret. Than I look out my own backdoor and wish well it would be nice to have someone to cuddle with. Than I think about...

Ya when in 2005 I took five xtc pills. Went to a shell station. Started making a lot of noise. They called the cops. The cops beat me up and put me in their unit. From there I go to jail. I get raped. A catheter in me pulled out with the balloon open. I remember being in the stretcher and...

I have the desire to die. And the sting of death has been taken from me. I no longer fear death. I wished it would come sooner than later. Maybe wake up in heaven. Or killed in a car wreck, but I don't want to kill myself. So please understand that we have fallen ill to this. One day at a time...

I stopped taking it. It was giving me hot flashes and was doing absolutely nothing for my BPI depression that I have been in since 2011. I would buy research chemicals from Europe called ethylphenidate and it boosted the dopamine but had a awful comedown. Last time I did that was in April. I...

Well, I wished there was something that would wipe out the memories of what I went through. I mean it would help a whole lot. Given the fact that it took two years of heavy drug use before my brain did what it did. But why dwell on the past. There is nothing I can do about it and it will only...

I took so many drugs all at the same time in 2005 that it collapsed my brain. I know I'll never be the same cuz I was stuck in jail without a advocate to help me. I couldn't speak because I thought it was the end times and I thought there was third floor where it was a human slaughter house...

It was just crazy. I mean I felt all the emotions when he died and I found out and ah man it was weird. I wished all my dreams would stop. I wished I was like those who don't remember their dreams.

@joeylittle I don't know why the would exclude drug induced psychosis as a PTSD trigger but also drug induced psychosis is supposed to go away as you start to stop using drugs. Mine has never went fully away. I had a nightmare about My Doctor that died. In the dream he was going to another...

Welcome, I too have MDD and bipolar I and PTSD. I have had a seven month psychosis. I think I permanently fried my brain from meth use.. I have been sober from meth since last December and before that I was nine years cleans. My depression episodes never let up. ADs don't work on me, they...

Is their anyone here who can kinda chime in. This guy totally lost me on repressed memories. Maybe it's true what he says. But I'm confused at the moment.

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Ok, it's a drug. But it benefits me if it helps stamina and helps me focus instead of a blinding euphoria gabapentin would give me. It's way more subtle then you think. But yes it's a drug. Just not something the FDA has warranted to be checked. Doesn't mean it's safe but it works for me. If I...