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What is your definition of “ignoring it”? Because my version of ignoring something is to not do anything at all and that has never helped me in my situation.

For the past several years, I have struggled with emotional numbness and loss of pleasure in a multitude of activities. Because of this, I have been diagnosed with Major Depression before I received a diagnosis for C-PTSD. When I was a small child I felt happiness and pleasure in my...

How I’d react when I discover the perpetrator who started it all.

I was 4, I was f*cking 4 years old and had PTSD. That is one of the worst outcomes you would come to realize about yourself within your life.

Seriously, imagine realizing you may have been looked at like this and that same person thought “Damn I’d tap that”.

Ignore the grammar. I vented without bothering to double check.

Throughout my whole life I’ve had developmental trauma since I was 4 at most. That quickly turned into Complex-PTSD once I turned 5 years old. My grandmother, on my mother’s side, has only been part of my life for three years out of the three decades I’ve lived due to her living halfway across...

This has been my experience when I was a small child. I remember having dreams at one point that felt too real to be dreams, but too peculiar to be memories. I question if I was going through derealization at the time. Whether or not these were foggy, repressed memories; if I was just...

After years of struggling, I finally managed to upkeep my apartment. Before then I was a total wreck and unable to function, but now that I’m receiving mental help I’ve been functioning a lot better.

My uncle had a falling out with my narcissistic parents for wanting to keep my grandmother from visiting his children. My grandma flew all the way from South Africa and doesn’t get to spend time with her grandkids that often. Being the narcissist that mother was, she wanted to go on vacation...

Yes, precisely.

I have a ton of tea bags at home. Do you drink anything specific? I already journal through here and read a lot on psychoeducation. So I feel like doing more of that after therapy would overwhelm me. Plus I already intellectualize my trauma a lot and I’m trying to find more balance by not...

My stomach hurts from eating too much.

I finished having a session with my therapist yesterday and ate more than usual. We have been discussing how food is a numbing agent for my emotions and I don’t know how I’m going to get through this. My stomach really hurts and I want to stop but I can’t seem to.

I’ve stopped taking my mood stabilizers because I don’t experience mania, so I didn’t believe I needed them. A psychiatrist diagnosed me with BP2, as well as PTSD and DPDR. I do know that I have major depressive episodes, but that is different from bipolar disorder. I’ve read that mood...

It’s really opening my eyes. It’s made me realize I’ve had complex-PTSD since I was 5.

I’m reading Complex PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving and it mentioned this forum in the book.

I found out about this forum through a book I’m reading. I honestly don’t know where I’d be without my books.

That doesn’t surprise me, but my mother doesn’t have PTSD. She’s a narcissist with actual symptoms of NPD and parentified me by sharing her childish fears instead doing her due diligence of researching the validity of SRA claims. She got her ideas from media and from books with unsubstantiated...

I wonder if I have sexual trauma because my mom might have suggested I was SA’d. She brought up how Satanic Ritual Abuse is a thing when I was 5 and I don’t know if she mentioned sexual abuse to me or not as it was so long ago. A lot of supposed SA is included in that. Last time I regressed was...

Probably for the best honestly. It’s sad how we can’t fully connect with each other, but evil people will always go out of their way to make fun of or fetishize trauma survivors. I did manage to join a Discord group for adult CSA survivors through there though and it’s very well run.

About a year ago, I posted on a subreddit for CSA survivors. I stated how I would age regress into a terrified little child when opening up sexually to someone and how I developed PTSD at the age of 3 or 4. I do not have a memory of anything because I was possibly too young to form a memory in...

I think I’m just subconsciously afraid of going back to that scared little girl again. It was really terrifying. I tried purging before but it never stuck with me. The feeling of nausea that you get the next day is a bit much for me. As a child, I would get that sickness a lot so the feeling...

I would have to look at the date of the publication. I’ll let you know once I look into the book again.

I now weigh about 240 lbs and I’m only 5’7”. I feel like ever since I’ve been re-traumatized, I went from barely eating anything to gorging myself on food in order to emotionally numb myself out. I have severe issues with eating now. The overeating started when I was 19 and I’m 30 now. This has...