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Yes, exactly. I agree.

Maybe I’m wrong, but I got the impression he has only been talking about himself and trying to be helpful in sharing his own journey. Forgiveness is tricky and complicated. I’m not sure there are formulas that can be applied to any person/situation. I don’t know. For what it’s worth, I have...

Wow. I don’t think I can take any credit for this breakthrough, but I am so happy for you to have found it! I hope that this peace takes hold of your heart and sustains you through the occasional bumps of the healing journey. The way you have diligently worked on this, for the sake of your...

You lied. You chose to do what you did to me. I can’t keep carrying the weight of the guilt and shame of what you did. It belongs to you.

Acceptance doesn’t mean that the behavior or event is acceptable. We can all agree that it never should have happened to any of us. But it did. We have to accept that it did happen. And then we have to figure out how to do an honest assessment of the consequences...and address them...and try to...

I wish I could afford to go more than once a week or for a longer session. I think that would be really helpful and productive for me.

You saved my life. I know you want me to say that I saved my own life...but I’m not sure I could have done it without you.

I think you are right about knowing details, Hooper. I tell my husband the barest of the bare minimum. He is my protector and I know he struggles with any reminders of his limits in that capacity. He would do anything to fix everything for me. I’m struggling now with the decision whether to tell...

Albatross is right...people can always bail. And people can also chose to hang on and get closer. I lost friends when I started telling my story almost 2 years ago. People who said they loved me stopped talking to me and shut me out. I was overcome with shame and loathing until I realized their...

Have you watched her video about the marble trust jar?

He was a master manipulator, TexCat. It was not your fault.

My husband and our kids.

Yes...we stay...we go back... I thought I deserved it. I thought something in me made him do it. I thought he loved me and I so desperately needed to be loved.

I can see that! I tend to put people on pedestals and be disproportionately hard on myself. So these little humanizing flaws help me be more balanced. Does that make sense? Having my “perfect” therapist get momentarily distracted and self-conscious about her hair helps me to be more...

It’s not ideal but my therapist’s office is 1.5 hours away from my house. If there is bad weather or I need an extra session we sometimes meet over video. She also did this for me when she was on vacation and I was really struggling. We don’t do heavy processing over video, it’s usually just...

Thank you for your kind words! Yes about compromise. Loving relationships are hard work but so worth it. I don’t know what I ever did to deserve my husband. He is an amazing human being. I don’t want him to feel like he has to walk on eggshells or change who he is. Hoping my therapist has some...

I appreciate the sports car my T drives and how she never makes me feel like “too much” or a burden. I like how skilled she is at reframing and how much she tries to help me see my own strengths. I appreciate that she still wants to work with me, despite knowing so much about me. I sometimes...

Thank you for this!

Thank you. I appreciate your response! Thank you for the reminders, especially. I have not and would not say that my husband is the source of what triggers me...but I should reassure him definitively. We are both wired as loud and animated people. I suspect there is something there. I’m so...

Definitely. Trying to find a steady balance of doing a little more on bad days and a little less on Good days.

My husband is a passionate debater and he often finds arguments cathartic. As far as I know, he does not have PTSD...though he did grow up in a dysfunctional home with domestic violence and alcoholism. We’ve been married for almost 20 years. He once threw a box (in the opposite direction of me)...

Yes. I’m so sorry. I remember when my therapist pointed this out to me many years ago. It’s another level of horror to process. I’m so sorry.

Yes! I was just wondering if it would help if she had all the information that you have. It’s an awful situation and so ironic and unfair. Of course you are angry. Of course. You are entitled to your feelings and they are perfectly reasonable!! If she’s a good professional, she can hear them and...

What an awful situation for you. I’m so sorry. It sounds like this is confusing and troublesome for both of you. I don’t think you can accurately assess the information she is giving you because neither of you have all of the information you need. You’re both trying to fill in the gaps and draw...

This is so, so hard. You are amazing and strong and resilient. You are doing it. One hour at a time. Keep posting and letting us know how you are.