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Thanks for sharing. That was a lot. But good you put it out there. I hope it helped you. Though sure you are exhausted now... Losing a parent is so hard - especially when other didn't care about you in right way.

HUGE HUG if you accept. Wish i could sit with you until therapist called. Still shocked over ER.

Mal - isolated in deep swamps of South Louisiana. BUT PLEASE no one stereotype me as Swamp People. Hate that show.

But I don't know... I had weird dream in last 2 years, that felt more like a memory. Made me happy, and feel safe. About beings in forest/swamp with these human like creatures.... Sometimes I think about dream/memory it makes me feel safe... they where not human, but told me "they were watching...

Yea I remember being kid growing up in deep forest and swamps. Most animals are afraid of people (with due cause.) But always taught never to be there after sunset - it was dangerous, and people didn't return. Even some parts - I only knew 2 people that ever went during daytime....they where...

@Anrish When you hike remote places. But if you see other people you get worried. Hmm.. I'd prefer a wild animal approaching me.

First time I passed out was as teenage. I just remember thinking that is what peace and a clear head feels like. I liked it :) Even if in some strange remote parking lot. Kinda sad when you look back at something with such positive memories.

Let's see - no new blood stains on sheets. Woke-up to enough medical tape on knee to make sure it would not bleed over night. *list buy more medical tape today.... Still not sure how my knee got such cuts...must have dissociated or blocked it out.

*it was just song - not video

@gizmo I think original cartoon was "Problem Solved" @Britt.f7 My mom went through same thing with me. She was very sad - tried not to show it. Yet she knew it was for a better life and escape for me. Hang-in there. I can't image what she went through when I went over 1,500 miles for college...

Having grown up with a narcissist & psychopath.... Probably just low self-esteem and wanting attention. Just because someone is good looking - doesn't mean they have healthy self-esteem. Some of the most good looking people I know have huge self-esteem problems or traumas I have learned. Some...

Feeling lost and confused. It's Saturday? I woke-up thinking it's Friday...... Why does my time go backwards and forwards....so much missing time. *Double checks phone and computer to confirm*

@Link Removed I'm sure they will understand. :hug:

Added to my notes. Thanks all

People keeping referring to medicine ER. What is that? @sonicwhite Sry your old doc passed away...

@Anarchy LMAO seriously thanks I needed a laugh

Sad. Confused. Abandonment.

That is a job! What kinda work are you looking for? Considered online? Even doing customer support by phone from at home?

Seriously! Same thing working on laptop with earbuds. Or you have to tell someone you are on phone 5 times before they realize your earbuds are also a microphone. Even when you keep pointing to it. Just because I am not talking doesn't mean I'm not listening to someone. Talk about confuse person...

I was very young teenager and told my mom I would never have kids. Shock in her face. Told her there were already too many suffering children in this world. Saw a specialist once. Told I had PTSD from severe childhood trauma. That should be enough. She asked want to tell me what happen? Uh, I...

Sry my memory can get really messed-up. Thanks for sharing previously. I was discussing that song "Not Afraid" with someone. She sent me this.

I understand. *hug*

More exhausted than when I went to sleep....

Is that why modern Christian's build temples costing millions while innocent battered women and their child are on the street? Or end up dead... Makes one wonder....this was not Jesus's teaching....by far. http://nybooks.tumblr.com/post/30034741685/duane-michalss-series-christ-in-new-york-1981...