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The only way that I know, and the way that has helped me, is to give yourself the room that you need, the time that you need, and the honesty that you need. Don't rush because you want to be over it. It only creates insecurity and triggers. When my goal was to be sexually intimate, or to just...

Do you know how many people are sexually abused in this world? In north America I think the stats are 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 5 boys. This happened to you, but you have not been singled out. It feels like you are the only one, but that man could have gone on to do the same thing to however many...

!!! Amen!

Thanks Friday. It really does change everything. At first it just seemed like doom. But after some thought, it's just a little more reality, which means practicality. It can be managed so much better by being realistic about expectations, goals, hopes, etc. One of the first thoughts that came to...

Permanent? Seriously? I didn't know this. I had no idea ptsd is permanent. This changes everything.

I think this is what it is for me... vulnerability. I'm terrified of exposing my feelings and being so vulnerable. If I shared, I'd be in need of such reassurance it might frighten someone. I think I also feel ashamed of "how" am, meaning I think I'm very immature in many ways and I don't want...

I'm wondering... Do you think we feel alone because we don't have anyone close to relate with us, or do you think we feel alone because we're ashamed, and keep so much to ourselves?

When you heal, and are able to see where you used to be, even just one week ago, and it all seems so clear now, how crazy it has been, how difficult it has been, how really and truly traumatized you were and how it changed how you see, feel, think, act, and you fall to your knees and praise God...

Hi Libby, and welcome. I'm glad you received disability. It was when I didn't have to work anymore that I began to rest. I'm 47 also, and I began to rest for the first time just 5 months ago. I'm also glad you have a home you like, and a cat companion. This all sounds very positive to me...

Thank you @She Cat

I was once married to someone something like that. He would always threaten suicide when he felt pressured in the relationship. He was depressed and other stuff. I always excused a lot of his behaviors by chalking it up to his troubles. He would use his troubles to justify his bad behavior. But...

I'm 47 years old. I started on this "I was abused journey" when I was in my late teens/early twenties. I only had what seemed to me like fantasies about abuse, meaning, I made stuff up in my own mind. This is how I see it. In my late twenties I had strange experiences that could be called...

Hugs are okay. Thank you.

I'm sorry you are going through this Chant2012. I find it helpful to hear you say that you don't believe you were RA, but you know you were. I relate to this. Not necessarily RA, but belief and knowledge being out of sync. There was a time when the details were consuming me. I was focused on...

Welcome Shells! I'm new here too. Also 47. I'm glad you're getting to where you want to be (Sheppard Pratt). A 3 week waiting list is encouraging. That's not too long of a wait. I'm looking forward to hearing from you in posts.

My counselor encouraged me to start writing about her. And while the emotions were high I could have. I was preparing to, but I needed to feel safe. It feels like a very dangerous thing to do. I mean that. I feel like I'm in danger when she gets too close. I have all sorts of mixed feelings...

Aut555, thank you.

Thanks She Cat. I hear what you're saying. I appreciate your feedback.

My husband and I have really good communication. I started seeing a counselor because I wanted someone with experience with helping to know how to stop having flashbacks because I don't like how they interfere. I've grown to the point where I'm now able to see how this is happening a little more...

I'm sorry. This sounds horribly stressful. I find relationships in general very stressful. Not quite as intense as you though. I was always aloof and didn't show much of anything. Never really connected, neither tried to. I do believe that things can change though. Believe it or not, you are...

You have alot to process. You survived a man others were afraid of. I've remembered things I've already remembered and forgotten, too. What's going on in your life now?

I don't know why there aren't many responses katurian. This is a really big deal that you're writing about. As far I know, only psychopaths kill animals like your dad did. It was really really mean and sick thing to do. It was sadistic to let you believe that you'd done it. I'm sure there's...

It's not a coping skill. It interferes with and overrides every coping skill that I have. I watch my perspective shift from who I normally am to someone else, yet I cannot stop it from happening. What you just said, She Cat, is like telling a war vet that they are using their flashback as a...

Thank you aut555.

I guess I'm looking for support. My question would be, "am I alone in this?"