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@Friday Thank-you for posting. Its good to see all points of view.

@Abstract How insightful and well articulated regarding how she must be feeling right now. I totally get it. I am a big believer in therapy. I have weekly couselling sessions and find them invaluable. She had started therapy two and a half years ago but it was stopped when her Dad died...

@8Rupo I'm not in a position to offer much advice at present as I am just processing all what is happening in my relationship with a sufferer. However I wanted you to know you are not alone. Far from it. One peice of advice I am able to wholeheartedly offer is stick with this forum, There's...

@Panda Bear Thank-you so much for your post and your honesty. It does provide a great insight and helps to understand why it happens. Yes, she has on occasion understood how it hurts me. This is usually in the discussion after the ensuing shut-out. This is when she is at her most open. I do...

@tlc Thank-you for your reply. Sorry to hear the same is happening to you. You do question your sanity when accusations that have no relation to you are being made. Hopefully we can gain some insight from the replies to this thread.

Just before my sufferer goes into a shut-out, she tends to get angry and launch lots of criticism at me. It really hurts because I really do try my best. Some of the criticism is perfectly valid. The strange thing is that lots of it doesn't even relate to me and I could even go as far as saying...

OK, so in the end I did contact her by sending a text saying I was thinking of her. To my surprise I received a reply 3 hours later just saying Happy New Year. I'm still feeling a bit shocked and very mixed emotions. I'm not quite sure what it means. It was probably a huge step for her to...

@ldj I got it on my Kindle app, I was going to get the hard copy but am currently in denial about needing reading glasses, lol! Good on you girl for your charity swim (and newfound fame :)) Take care and thanks for your support

@Glara I totally get you, rejection is really hard. Its so difficult to understand why it is a problem for our sufferers to accept our love, especially when we crave that love so much.Thank-you for your reply

@ldj I got a copy of the book you suggested. Wow, its brilliant! I've only got it today and have read the first couple of chapters but it is really helpful. Thank-you so much. I have done quite a lot of reading on the subject, but my sufferer seemed to get upset about it saying it was...

@bring em all in I'm a supporter and find that when I suggested my needs, my partner was quite dismissive and even angry. I have pondered why this happened for quite some time. I tried different ways of saying things or even different times when she was in a different mood. The only time she has...

Oh Sweetpea, thank-you, that has helped so much with my self-doubt. Happy new year to you.

You're not kidding Idj. It is so tough for all of us, sufferers and supporters alike. I'm sat here going through all the, 'should I have done it differently', 'should I have said something else' scenarios. My next door neighbour saw the car back and asked if we both wanted to come over for the...

Hi Sweetpea, I left. Just re read her text from first thing and she said she wanted to be left alone so I guess thats my answer. There was no mention of breaking up but she asked for her keys back

Dear Lostforgottonsoul, Thank-you so much for your very helpful reply. She doesn't have a therapist at present, she started therapy a couple of years ago but stopped when her Dad passed away. I don't like to talk too much about therapy and the self medication as she is very sensitive about...

I tried and tried so hard to support my sufferer over the festive period. I'm back home from her house now, 3 days early, alone on new years eve, wondering what has happened. My sufferer has seemed to be getting emotionally distant recently, despite saying that she loved me on many occasions...

I have just arrived back from staying with my sufferer over the festive period – sadly, 3 days early. Your quote seems to make sense as to what is happening. I will start a new post regarding things to try to understand what's happened.

I was not around when my partner was initially in therapy so it's hard to say what has happened. I must confess though, I have wondered if she feels that she is not ready. Maybe she has dropped out of the system as she has not been back to them and she is avoiding going back into therapy. Its...

Hi Chitoshi, thank-you so much for your reply. How wonderful to hear from the perspective of a sufferer too. Sometimes I am so confused as to what to do for the best. I try my best not to trigger her, but I am relatively new to this and am still learning as triggers hide in the most...

Hi Mytime, Thank-you. This website and you guys on here have been brilliant

Hi Eve, That was a tough one to hear. I will have to ponder on that.

Hi RecedingMoon, Wise words again from you, thank-you. You must have been going through this for some time to have learned so much. I must say that your comment “It is difficult on both the sufferer and the supporter alike” is so true. I know on some occasions my partner has felt bad about...

Hi, I wonder how I can deal with verbal attacks that come just before my partner goes into a shut out? For example, my partner will pick up on my weaknesses, hurts and vulnerabilities, and kind of fire them at me in a tirade just before she goes into a shut out. Some other times the things she...

Just to let you know, she texted today. We're meeting up tomorrow. A glimmer of hope. Thank-you guys for your support on here.

Wow, that is insightful and makes complete sense to me. I am still kicking myself for how I approached things at the time, but as you say, its done and cannot be changed. The positives are that I am learning a lot. I hope I can use this learning in a positive way for my sufferer. I don't know if...