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Well the session with my T went good today. Turns out she actually knows the T I will be seeing from the uni! So I signed a release for them to talk so my T can summarize some of my issues and good things to work on with me. My T says I will like this T and she feels confident I will be okay. I...

Yes, it does sound like flashbacks. With intrusive memories, I see them but have no physical connection to them and I know I'm not there. With flashbacks, I don't always know I'm not there until im coming out of them.

I find for me to be able to distinguish between intrusive memories and flashbacks is do I just see it, or do I feel like I am back there again. For me, I have a LOT of body memories with my flashbacks- so that is another clue. I'm not sure your reasons for denying, but for me it actually...

Yes, I was worried about not having an outlet for any feelings that come up that week. Which my real T's plan for today and next Tuesday before she leaves is to address any feelings that have come up about it and focus on how much work I've done in this year. She keeps telling me that I am not...

I donated $2... thats all I could find in change.

:hug: You are doing some incredibly hard work. I understand why you said what you said to your T. I often do this too when my T is telling me that something my mom or dad did was wrong. It's like if I can just excuse it to myself, I don't have to feel the pain that comes from it. Often times...

Ok so everything got sped up with my T's surgery. I will see her on the 3rd then I won't see her for 4 weeks. It really sucks because the 12th will be one year since I attempted suicide and really needed to see her. Anyways I saw my primary doctor today through the university and she said she...

@The Albatross thank you. She is a great dog! @shimmerz and sadly that's not all of it. I've had people follow us making noises, scream at me because she looks like a Pit bull, and the list goes on. This is why I am going with a "friendlier" looking breed and one that is small enough I can pick...

If I had the money, I so would donate as I owe this forum my life! But right now I just went 3 weeks without any of my meds because my mom thought her cigarettes were more important. I have to sneak money for therapy... so yeah its kind of impossible :/

Thank you @Recovery4Me I just knew I couldn't be selfish and ask her to do something that she didn't want to do. She is still my hero and I love her the same. I am praying the new pup when it comes will pick up the migraine alerts from her as they cannot be trained. For now though we will have...

Well I have had to make a tough decision this week. I will be "washing" (retiring) Bristol out of public access work. She is simply too stressed in public after everything people did before the holidays. This included a woman letting her child run up and hit Bristol before I could stop it, a...

Sounds very interesting! My T doesn't claim to be an intuitive healer or anything, but she believes in a lot of things such as chakras, mandalas, etc. She is very intuitive to my feelings and issues. Ironically, she had a vision about me Tuesday in our session. She said she normally doesn't do...

Exactly my thoughts. My T says that the memories will come up as our brain is ready to process them. If they come up, you learn how to deal with them in healthy ways. My T will have me write them down and we process them in therapy. If they come up between and are overwhelming, we have some...

Well I saw my T today. She thinks that the nightmare was my psyche's way of trying to show me something. She does not think it was necessarily PTSD in the sense of flashbacks or anything. The running theme in it was how calm and sure of not being caught the guy was and my inability to do...

This is exactly what my T says when I have them. I don't think we will start EMDR again anytime soon because she will be having surgery soon and she only does EMDR with me when she can see me 2 times a week until we are done. The only way we would start again is if it gets bad again. But she...

Almost 4 weeks without flashbacks or night terrors... too good to be true right? Should've known that. Last night's nightmare though was different. Normally my nightmares and flashbacks are from reality of things that happened to me. But last night's wasn't. And if I do have a regular...

You had to be a parent to yourself. It wasn't fair nor was it right. They SHOULD have protected you. They SHOULD have reported the creep. They SHOULD have held you tight and told you it would be okay. I get that. To be honest I would rather deal with the physical abuse all over again compared...

Ghotiff let me tell you what my T tells me. You are getting the help you need, you are doing the hard work of healing and processing the junk that was done to you. It takes a certain amount of looking inside to do that. The problem is when people don't do the work, don't face the tough stuff. I...

I feel for you with the nightmares... I had them almost every night for over a year. They only stopped about 3 weeks ago. It got so bad in December though that I ended up going inpatient to keep from hurting myself. Try short naps throughout the day if you can- no more than 20 minutes long. It...

I would ask her if you could do some things during the session so you don't dissociate. Dissociating makes processing impossible. I tend to look downwards and my T says I "shrink into myself". So she will stop and ask me to look at her. Sometimes that is difficult due to the shame, so if I can't...

Also sometimes if its more of a daze rather than exhuastion- exercise really helps me. I often will go to my favorite natural trail and walk. Being outside helps ground me and the exercise brings me back to my body.

I would say a lot of us feel that way, I know I do. As for the dissociating, have you tried telling your T about this? My T is pretty intuitive and notices when I dissociate. We have several things we do to ground me. She has some eucalyptus oil for me to smell- squishy objects to hold. She...

Its out of priority right now as I try to get back on my feet. Like I said, LOTS of boundaries and lots of ranting to my T. Forgiving is SO very different from forgetting and trusting again. I am learning to accept that my mom is incapable of being a nurturing mother. But it doesn't mean I have...

Same with my stepdad. He would always tell me he was going to stand up to her the next time and never did, leaving me to do it myself. Still does to this day. I unfortunately live with my mom and stepdad for now. It takes setting up LOTS of boundaries with her. My T is amazed that I have been...

PTSD is never an excuse to do wrong to someone, especially as it seems he has done several times (don't know the exact situations). Are we going to mess up? YES, but so is everyone, PTSD or not. For whatever reason, it is clear he needs space. That is not a reflection on him or you, it just is...