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Hi all! Thank you all for your kind and considerate posts. They help me a lot! Even just knowing that people recognize and understand my story helps. Ragdoll Circus, I will reread your post a couple of times and imprint it in my mind. It was abuse. It was not right. It is totally legitimate...

Thank you for your advice! I have this new team around me at the moment, with a psychiatrist, nurse and social worker. I'll talk about this! I'll ask them! When I started to first carefully question my ex, I had actually two really validating and good experiences. I really softly and...

It does count and it indeed helped me a lot to start seeing that. It might sound a bit stupid, but after 20 years I finally realised my uncle was at fault - and I wasn't. That was when the healing started. It was really strange. Only then I started to have the right interpretations and feel...

I am sorry for the late reply. I had a couple of weeks of not really being capable of writing about trauma-stuff. Thank you all for the acknowledgement and the sharing of stories. I've always had a tendency to minimalize what happened or compare it to others who had been through worse. But I...

Thanks for all the advice. I'd prefer to not use anything, but if needed I prefer the natural route. I am currently on antipsychotic meds against my wishes, but I'd like to replace (part of) my meds with herbs. I am definitely going to look into Holy basil and the other herbs you people adviced...

Thanks for the hugs and support! I have talked to my psychiatrist about it.. for now she doesn't want to do much about it, except lower the dose a tiny bit next month. In the future she proposes to put me on topamax against trauma and lower the haldol even more. But I'm going back to speak to...

Thank you very much for sharing so much of your personal story. I am very touched by it. Thank you for telling me this. You have had to deal with a lot and you sound like such a loving mum to both your daughter and your son, and so brave to deal with it the way you did and do! It must have been...

Today a somewhat new friend (we work together on a care farm) asked about what my diagnosis is and what the reasons for my trauma are. I notice that I find it really difficult to talk about that. I know this friend is suffering from complex PTSD herself and has been through lots of bad stuff...

Thanks all of you for sharing experiences and for the encouraging words! I really am excited about it and it gives me new hope! I will ask my pdoc to arrange an outpatient psychologist for after the inpatient program. I think that's good advice. I will also ask them about grounding and coping...

After five years of doing nothing but handing out meds, my pdoc now proposed something new and good: they want to send me to a new and intensive inpatient PTSD program, in a clinic specialized in complex PTSD. It's an 8 day program (2x4days) in which they do lots of very painful things (EMDR...

Yes, me! I have always functioned well. Until I went through a traumatic period as an adult. In short: abusive/psychopathic ex, getting pregnant unplanned, discovering my ex was a threat to my son, fighting in court for 2 years to keep him away from my son, while CPS was trying hard to cover up...

Two formal diagnoses: PTSD and psychotic disorder NOS. Both were caused by the same traumatic period. I want to be tested soon for PTSD with secundary psychotic features, which I feel is the right diagnosis for me. It does more justice to the situation. Then I'll be back to one! :) I have...

One. Haldol, an antipsychotic. It makes me a zombie. If I ever succeed in coming off it and finding back my old emotional life/personality, I am the happiest person in the world.

I agree that you shouldn't start Efexor unless you plan to use it for life... I was put on Efexor in a traumatic period, because I was fearful and sad - I was not clinically depressed, but had a good and temporary reason to not feel good. I hesitated whether I'd start a med and specifically...