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I'm actually fine with this. I don't even want to talk at present as I feel it's more important for us to try to gel again first. I won't be instigating intimacy either, I'm going to leave it entirely up to her to decide the mood etc. Thank you all again for your advice.

Your guidance is so helpful, thank you so much.

Well guys and girls I have an update. On Thursday I rang her daughter (11yrs old) and asked if she would like to join me to go get her mum a Christmas card etc, she asked her mum and she said it was fine. I picked her up from outside their home and we had a lovely time. Kerry didn't come out to...

Thank you, thank you, thank you.... I could hug you for allowing me to see things in the correct light and offering such a personal view.

I can't thank you enough for giving me such good and clear information, personal experience and what now seems like quite obvious good advice. Thank. You so much for your time and care. X PS, she has been Having Therapy for quite a while. Years I believe.

Yes I can definitely see that, that's why it's hard because I feel that at these times I want to, and should be there for her and I want to be her Rock. Can I just say that the advice all you lovely people are giving me is fantastic, I can't thank you enough. X

Yes and I suppose the first encounter of this will always be the hardest, and IF we get past this I will feel better equipped to deal. With any further episodes and importantly know for sure that it really isn't personal to me..

I guess I seem really uncaring with this current line of questions but I feel totally left in the dark by her, she did say to me though that she isn't contacting anyone else but I also know she wouldn't ignore her family or close friends like she is doing with me.

I do understand that's its an awful affliction but It does also seem to be a conscious decision she is making.

Thank you for your honesty with that Chris. I'm just playing a waiting game and it's really stressful and as this is the first time I've experienced an attack, I just crave some sort of hope. If we get through this I DO feel that I'd handle another episode better though

Yeah I kinda gathered that... No offence intended BTW but would *you* push your partner away if you were having an attack and not speak to them for 2 weeks?, and if so would you at least say to them "look we, are fine I just need space" or just let them be riddled with anxiety because of it...

Thanks for that, I'm sorry if I appear to be repeating myself but isn't isolating exactly that? If she sees everyone else over Christmas but not me that's hardly fair is it and makes it appear to me to ne not Ptsd?

Hiya . In Your opinion do you think she is being fair though if that's all I get? As It's the not knowing where I stand with her /us that's the real problem to me, christmas is only 9 days after my birthday, our second together, and I'm meant to be at her home on Christmas day. She will have her...

I know what you mean but right now and at this time of the year I'm just not ready to do that. I suppose I'm hoping that she will at least contact me on my birthday on Monday and hopefully open up the contact.

She is having to deal with the death of her baby nephew at present so I'm trying uing to be supportive but she doesn't want me around in any way whatsoever.

Aah thank you for your kind words. Yes I want to fight to keep us alive, I am so glad that I stumbled upon This site, (I'm a brit in England UK by the way) as you folks are a, wealth of good advice and have patiently learned to find a path with your loved ones. Well it's 2am here so I'd better...

Yes I have family but if I'm honest il be really upset if I dont at least get a Happy birthday message from her. I feel that as I'm aware she is messaging her family she should acknowledge me too...

You could be right but as yet I'm not ready to throw in my towel... Time will tell I suppose eh..

You people are so helpful, it's a real help. To me.. I haven't seen or heard from her for 9 days now but its my birthday in 4 days so I just hoping il hear from Her.

Thank you, I suppose its about talking to eachother and trying to find a mutual ground isn't it. I know that I may need to just walk away but I genuinely don't want that and I'm not at that stage anyway. All her life this lady has had people give up on her and I don't want to give up on her.

Aaah thank you so much for that, it does, explain things a bit more. I'm very new to all this so it's a huge learning curve for me. Other than a therapist can you offer any personal Do's and Don'ts? My lady has suffered so much in the past yknow and I just want to try and build a solid platform...

Thank you, that's makes a lot of sense. Its just hard because im a really sensitive emotionally charged guy. My poor lady has been through such a lot in her life and all I want is for her to feel safe and loved and cared for by me but when we are at odds she says it brings up her bad memories...

It's so bloody hard, because when I Complain she then says it's, me causing her attack.. Its so frustrating..

I see what you mean yes, these little things ARE really important to me. We are currently really struggling with communication, to be fair she does have other important family matters that she needs to offer her support with, because I've never had a, partner with Ptsd before it is hard for me...

Thank you very much for that, yes I'd love to hear from other supporters too please.