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Well, I certainly feel for you there. As I mentioned elsewhere, I have developed iron clad boundaries. This may be an overshoot, but I do not tolerate disrespect from anybody, and I do personal boundaries using non violent communication techniques. This is very important. I do not reinforce ugly...

Dee, boy I can relate to a lot of what you said. I hope this does not seem like a male bashing thread. I love men! But I understand the huge disappointments. Maybe the other posters are right, maybe we are genetically poly. Prolly, beyond the skeletons in the closets, we can find our aunts...

Yes, this applies to all nasty people. Let me tell you something, I made a lot of progress with my symptoms, which were completely disabling, by elimInating all pieces of crap, including stupid crap people, out of my life. And man, there are billions of boatload of these zombIes. Literally...

You know, I really admire what you have pulled off. I am going out of country for a month, and when I get back, I will try to get something set up. I have never really been with a man that would really let me explore, save my first ex. I am in all the social cool stuff and have a lot of diverse...

Wow thanks guys for such thoughtful input. Much appreciated. I wouldn't say I have alters at all, but I do have dimensions to my personality. I am a geek, but I have had relationships with other geeks, real cowboys, a British biker, a west texas biker, a tattooed boy toy, some straight cut...

My marriage was much shorter that yours, but my ex had severe recent trauma he never dealt with. When I told him I didn't feel safe with him, he just mockingly blew it off. This indicates a severe handicap in processing empathy, and it put a person in a very unsafe place. It's not to say you...

I mean, certain things are best left confidential. Like it would be crazy sharing my social security number on the forum, or specific bank account information. You see the purpose of confidentiality there. My family both keeps secrets and is in this self destructive denial. I just couldn't be...

Very brave, Craig. I have found that the world is empathy impoverished, and it take a lot of digging around to find others that cultivate empathy. If you really stay true to yourself, you will likely morph into a much superior man in the long run.

This is horrendous. I am so sorry it happened. I dated an east Londoner, so I understand how violent some of these pubs can get.

Well, I mean, I really like to be friends with the person. And the thing that scares me is how few men really know themselves. Like you said, they can talk a good game, and they truly believe they have their "stuff" together. But they too are self deceived disasters. And I am sure women are no...

Yeah, I don't bond very quickly at all through sex, but I do appreciate it like it was art, which I think is very sensitive to the other person. So I really respect a good artist, but that doesn't mean I want to move in, have babies, and get a 30 year mortgage with that person right then. I...

Wow thanks guys. This is a deeply personal subject. And I don't want others I try to discuss this with get the wrong idea. And thank both of you so much for really respecting and discussing what I have described. I am not a sex addict, as in trying to fill a void, I just flat out have a high...

I am dating, and I live in a oil patch (oil industry), so thankfully there's lots to choose from. I have been severely traumatized by romantic relationships in the past. It appears like there are a lot of dysfunctional men. Whether its something like issues with anger, taking responsibility of...

Had the same issues myself. Look up nonviolent communication technique...they are great! They increase the odds you are heard, and decrease upsets. Made a huge difference in my life.

Yeah, it seems important not to conceal big parts of ones self. Very important.

There are some very insightful ideas here. I don't see PTSD or grief, etc. specifically everywhere. I just see dysfunction so extreme that I have to put up boundaries almost immediately. Like I said before, I really, really see this with dating. I know that I would dissociate when exposed to...

Wow, I am going through this as well. I am really trying to live a life with some structural and moral integrity, really, really trying to be healthy and strive to be my best, and all I see are walking disasters around me. And I really, really see it with dating. Maybe this is a psychological...

The formula I use is this. First, express your needs via clear non violent communication technique...this increases the odds that you are heard. He ain't hearing you right now. If that doesn't work, really be mindful, and try stating this need again, via super duper non violent technique, being...

Dear jenfa, You put such good words to your experience that I am floored, and I feel validated. These words describe my experience accurately and I would be stretched to find the words to describe it myself. I had the existential crisis and break down over the same thing. I find what looks to...

Yes, what I needed for myself was extreme, but the situation was so toxic, that I could not handle the triggering any more. I found that my dissociation and flashbacks decreased hugely when I let them go. But others may not have to do this. Good luck. Follow your gut.

Oh my dear, I have been through what you described. I am so sorry. What I did that worked for me was to extricate myself from every single toxic person in my life. Here is the definition of toxic: 1. Anyone who puts you down, makes backhanded remarks. 2. People with self destructive habits, such...

Thanks for touching base. For me it is sensory integration. That seems to be the core of it, and causes a lot of dissociation. This for me, is separate from the huge amount of trauma exposed to, which causes a second set of problems. Wrong planet is a great community, and they have no problems...

I am so sorry you go through this type of contempt. May not be a high chance he would ever change. Have you thought of a plan, I am sure very painful, to totally extricate your self from him, with or without his cooperation? Not sure it would work for you, but it's what I had to do for my...

Again solara, you are entitled to you opinion. And I can spot a narcissist now that I know what to look for. I am sorry to upset you, but my experience is that most people are extremely toxic to me right now. You, as I say, are completely entitled to you feelings. But this is my reality and if I...

Sounds very stressful and they are crashing your personal boundaries big time.