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Would sufferers out there say that the pace of a relationship affects the amount of isolating? Like if you were to take things at a slower pace would it make it feel safer and easier? In our case the isolating didn't get to be a serious problem until I learned about the abuse, which is why I...

Kas, Thank you so much for explaning that. My sufferer was also abused by his father and has similar issues. In some ways it helps that I was also abused by a cop even though it was not my dad- (friend ofthe family) maybe it lessens the shame. I know all I can do is be honest with him and try...

Kas- how can you see your shame reflected back in others? I am a sexual abuse victim, but I do not have PTSD. I don't remember going through that. I felt wierd with people I knew the next few times I saw them after disclosing that stuff, but I mostly felt wierd and creeped out about their pity...

Hi Drew- I brought it up because of the incongruity between what the NIH says and what is said here. I found it interesting and strange that such differing opinions exist and thats the reason for the dialogue. More understanding needs to happen about this. It is the thing I find the hardest to...

Kas- I am curious as to why someone asking you to come out of isolation sooner would trigger a response to run deeper into isolation? Is there fear associated with this? Like fear of being stalked or physically persued? I could see where if someone was physically showing up, or you were afraid...

A lot of people here seem to feel like isolating is a natural coping mechanism of PTSD, and some go so far as to assert it as a sort of necessary part of having PTSD. (not in those exact words but its a sentiment repeatedly expressed in different ways) When I looked on the United States...

Huh. Based on the parenting I received I would have thought it would be secure, but it came up preoccupied, the way they describe it, it sounds like codependent. I hope I didnt mess up my kids too badly.

Kas my sufferer says the same thing. I dont know how to handle the level of isolation he seems to require and still be there for him because its hard for me to find enough sustanance in that. I would suggest that you start with friendship- that seems to be where we are at right now. I think we...

Hah you PTSD people are so different from us supporters. I fall way too hard for people and then I have a huge problem extricating myself from my mess. I get this picture of what they are going to be like in my head, when the reality is I dont know enough about them to know wether or not they...

Abstract, you quoted me wrong, I said "I DON'T think survivors make a choice about when to be dissociated."

I wonder how many different attachment styles there are?

I love your contradictions, it reminds me of my sufferer. I threatened to wrap him in yellow caution tape for his Halloween costume. Im sure you would look great in it too...We are in cautious scary tiptoeing love, Im sure you will find your person out there who wants to go the extra mile for...

And then he would want you back...

Hashi, this sort of makes sense when I think about what you have posted in other threads I have followed. Theres probably some uncomplimentary words to describe your condition, antisocial personality disorder or some thing like that. The way I see it, is if you were to take a young puppy and...

Hashi, I dont think survivors make a choice about when to be dissociated

A man who asks for sex, or sleeps in the same bed, comes on to you and is told No and stops, that might be a typical man. Xanabilify you were raped. Regardless of the situation you were in, or how drunk you were, there is no excuse for what he did to you. Period. You could do a naked striptease...

Dissociated1 I disagree with your writer Shengold who says victims of trauma are more likely to inflict it on others. I think thats a dangerous story to tell, because it is one thing, out of context. People who have received treatment for their abuse are no more likely then anyone else to go...

We have never met, but I have to say it doesnt sound like a very flattering description of you.

Indirectly, I think it was- our best guess it that the dissociative episode occured the night before when I sent him the text. He accidentally doubled up on the seroquel he takes at night and it interacted with his morning meds to make him over sedated. He isolates, and so yesterday was the...

Sure, that would be fine....

One thing just to mention. Triggering is wierd. A week and a half ago, I texted him something about what happened to me the first time I had any contact with my 26 year old abuser. I was 12 and I was sexually aroused in the situation. The worst humiliation for any abuse victim, particularly a...

Based only on what you have told us it sounds like you need a new therapist. That is a terrible thing for her to do to you.

Yes. My sufferer and I were both abused by police officers. I was sexually abused by a family friend in my teens and he was emotionally physically and possibly sexually abused by his father. I do not have PTSD- probably because I was not forced, just manipulated. What happened to him was...

Guilty.About the personal stuff in my thread, and of the codependency. How do you tread that fine line of being close and being there for someone and codependency- like what if someone needs help, do you have to wait for them to ask? Can you never offer? The last thing I want to do is undermine...

Thinking this weekend as my sufferer and I start on week 2 of his isolating binge due to shame over recently triggered memories of sexual abuse. (we text just a few things a day.) It seems the best way to find out if a relationship is worthwhile is to ask yourself if it ended right now would...