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@ Deanna introduce them gradually. Look up Jackson galaxy guide. In a lot of pain today because I've gone from mostly sedentary to active. At least the pain is helping me stay focused. I've had to work off a lot of extra energy to keep things at a stable level that I can manage. It was...

Went for a walk with my daughter. Wanted to get some stud earrings that I'm not allergic to. Was way too giggly before we left. Felt very buzzed no alcohol in my system so unfortunately its just my brain chemistry. I'm back now and feeling down again and somehow hung over. Made responsible...

Thanks. :) I have a tree of life ring and when I saw this well to me hope I can continue to grow from here. Thought it was too pretty not to share.

I just bought this today. To scrawl all of the turbulence in. My previous ones were black with an escaping butterflies silhouette. Filled a lot of pages. To me the diary has to speak to me in some way to be worth filling up.

I find this interesting as a part of different journeys. Maybe someday mine will be different. I deflect with humor a lot and have come to realize when I do. I'd like to get past swearing and crying someday and have it be something reflecting that I've gotten somewhere.

Laying down after some errands with my daughter. Yankee candle is usually a happy place for me but today I'm overwhelmed because there are so many breakable things. I had to push my thumb nail into my finger to help me focus and keep from acting on inappropriate impulsive responses. I hate to...

So what you going to see the man for? lol

@DharmaGirl. Sorry to hear. I had hysterectomy with both removed last year. Hoping for you that after you recover you will be well. I'm sitting here trying to get my head back on straight. Had a talk with my husband about the symptoms that came back. Hopefully I don't get so out of...

Mild sunny beach. Too cold to go right now. Something about the waves being stronger and more turbulent than I feel. The year I was getting sober was warm but not humid. I'd journal there. Sometimes pace back and forth unable to stop myself for a while. All the while having flashbacks etc...

Just got up and watched a squirrel rehab video. Was so cute. Had insomnia last night. Used to be constant when I had my onset. I'm calm so far. Still haven't eaten anything and really no desire to. I'm hoping I stay calm today. If not back to the bedtime tea till my aprn calls. I really...

Watching into the badlands. Spell Check changed it to garlands maybe to make things more festive. Got off phone with my therapist. After discussion on my current condition she was concerned. Took a Vistaril and some bedtime tea to calm the wildness a bit. Slightly sedatey. Wish it were...

When you tell your therapist you suspect you might be a bit bi polar because of recent behaviors mimic onset of symptoms and she says how do we solve things like this. My response: with ptsd we white knuckle it. Luckily she knows I was joking.

I'm not doing well right now. It feels like I'm going through onset of symptoms again. But with out the flashbacks and anxiety. My mood swings up and down because I'm in a lot of emotional pain right now. Drinking (just non alcoholic beer) lack of appetite. Deep depression goes from don't...

I've had 5 years talk therapy. Before a few weeks ago I considered myself as stable as I can be at this time. Sounds like I need stabilization with the person I will do Emdr with. I will see if my therapist can suggest someone who eases into things when its time. Thank you. I feel a bit...

Its how I felt even alive when things were bad at home. For just a few minutes to loose myself in the sensation of being with someone else. Being something and someone else but the scared kid I was at home. In my early years just kissing. Whether I felt the boy loved me or not. He's...

Both as loudly as possible lately. Pretty much the mood of picking myself up again from this.

Thank you for your perspective. I've been afraid doing Emdr would make things worse. That my dissociating would come back like it was when I had onset. Constant flashbacks, drinking again, self harming like I did back then, insomnia everything. I've just had a setback in my recovery two...

My mother was like that. I can't possibly feel as bad as she does etc because of her childhood experiences. Which she handed down to me. Though I'm terrified of seeing her or my step father and cut contact mainly because of that. I realize that she is at a place where she can't grow. I can't...

I wrote a short story about a game I play. In it the character I play as has to deal with a cat who grooms himself when its most embarrassing for her. They go to retrieve information from an enemy camp and things go wrong. I used to take screenshots in games and add speech bubbles to have the...

I realize that I can't do this on my own. That I need support again. That I have made progress. That to continue on I need to see where I was years ago here and think of how much I've improved from then.

Though maybe people might not remember me from a few years ago its good to see some familiar names from back then. You guys are still dealing and supporting and continuing on. Just knowing that gives me some hope for my future. Hugs all.

When you look at your you tube account which has mostly depression, alcohol, insomnia and ptsd meditations and you tube suggests you watch Pharells video for "Happy" I laughed so hard. Like their bot that suggests things was like you ok? Let me cheer that right up.

My facebook is private with just a small group of mostly my husbands family, a few friends and my brother and his wife. Because one of my nieces talks about her struggles with mental illness I started talking about mine with complex ptsd. She's right we need to talk about mental health more...

When I'm not feeling hunger at all and I'm very symptomatic ill have a protein drink with protein powder, almond milk, a banana etc for breakfast and lunch. Actually now that I think of it that's also my daily breakfast. At least I'm getting calories in liquid form if I feel I can't eat.

Congrats on being sober. That's seriously hard. The alcohol is just drowning you not helping you. I know because this is my 5th year sober and actively dealing with this with meds and therapy. This is a good place to start. There is so much information up here and odds that someone here has...