Search results

Sorry, meant to say that I love that. But living it is good too! :p

I think you want to speak with him because you spent the weekend with him and now your emotions for him are all amped up. Understandable. Just leave it and let your feelings calm down some.

You should wait a bit. And also make it more lighthearted rather than asking those heavier questions. Just ask if he's going as if you'd ask a friend.

Live this @Hojay

He sounds very clear to me here. He cares for you deeply and doesn't want you to hurt because of him. He doesn't want you to move on, but he understands if you need to for yourself. I think he would appreciate it very much if you remain a supporter without pressuring him for more than he can do...

Good points @Freida. I totally agree. It's good to know you are putting in the hard and painful work for yourself. Gives me hope!

Ditto. However for me, I am done with this behavior. It is very disrespectful and uncaring of my feelings and there is no excuse for it. If he (my guy) can't do it, I deserve a conversation and an apology for stringing me along for nearly two years while blaming me for it all. I know he feels...

Sounds like things are going from bad, to worse, to horrible with your situation .

I am in a very similar situation. Loads of break ups over and over and now he says we should just be friends because it's too hard for him. I just don't know if that is possible for either of us, and like you, think I need to go cold turkey if I decide to end this. Also like you , I always had...

Thanks @anon1234, I was just coming out of my funk when I read this and it makes me feel better. Yeah, I think this will be a me weekend.

So I am in a different place on this now because I have had a rough week. I now feel like I need to start that process again of moving on...for good. And once I do that, it would be too damaging to go back into it and expect anything to be different. I can make changes in myself till the cows...

Nailed it for me here, NaeNae . And yes, totally sucks! I get the same treatment all the time. Can't express unless it's positive, fun and ego strokes. What to do???

This is the really hard part. You see it all over here. Don't take it personally. It's not about you. It's them. So hard to put into practice, though!! Can really give your self esteem and self confidence a kick in the gut and bring on those feelings of anxiety. I get it! You can do this. I...

Ding ding ding!!! Exactly!!

Thanks @Justmehere, this is exactly what I needed right now.

Haha @Hojay same! Confusing. But I think you may be right. We seem to be all on the same page with different definitions of what unconditional love means, but more or less agree on what loving someone should mean to us. At least I think so???:confused: Yes, yes, and yes!

Well one thing is for sure, it's definitely a good and insightful thing that you are aware of your personal limitations and what that would mean to a person in a relationship with you. That is huge in and of itself, imo.

Those things can and do hurt for sure. Tough things to work with and deal with. But, working through those things could be a part of growth and healing.

That is not realistic. You can never know everything about a person upfront. Those things unfold over time and even people who are married for decades don't fully know each other 100% oftentimes.

I don't think it's about loving someone who hurts you. Or maybe you can love them but leave them, you know? I think it's about learning what is abuse and what is abuse to you specifically. Unconditional love doesn't mean I need to love an abuser or someone who is intentionally treating me badly...

I am learning that for me, unconditional love in a relationship is crucial. For me, it's about forgiving the flaws and insecurities and loving someone as they are, not how I want them to be. There may be a fine line heading over into codependency and that is the learning part of it. If there...

P.S. forgive yourself first too

My brand new mantra since yesterday? Love yourself first. All good roads lead from there.

@Sunshine71 I can't give much advice on your hubby situation but what I do want to say is start by taking all of that love you have to give and give it to yourself. Start with you.

Wow @leehalf That is a really positive story, even if it feels far from it for you sometimes. And of course positive in a PTSD relationship story. :)