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Whenever something is too upsetting for me to say or I know I'm going to start crying or dissociate doing it I usually write it down hand it to him at the beginning of the session he usually wants to read it out loud but if I tell him not to heal read silently he usually then stops every...

You can work it out with your therapist as to not having to say specifics. usually they just want to know that you're progressing onto new memories instead of just getting stuck so mine doesn't require me to get into any big details but he wants to know that new memories are coming up. also keep...

One of my others is mean to me and hates my T. He is taking on more and more characteristics of one of my abusers. He uses the same verbal abuse tactics. Does anyone else have an other like this?

I agree Tempus Fugit. Just this last weekend I have finally uncovered the last pieces of one of my lost childhood abuses and the lost pieces from an abusive relationship as a teenager. It has been coming in bit by bit for about 2 months now and has been a trip through hell. I know there are more...

As my therapy has been progressing and memories have been coming back I'm struggling to find words to use for the grown-ups that were in my life. Family, that word makes me sick to my stomach. I can't use mother, father, grandmother, and grandfather. They were none of those things . Parental...

I have recently been having horrible flashbacks of the horrors that happened when I dissociated as a kid. My question is, have your others ever shared the worst of their memories with you including the physical pain and sensations that they endured? I have also been experiencing awful muscle...

I can totally relate. I used to see just fine with my glasses before the accident. After the accident I can't see a thing. I got new glasses in December. They never really worked right but I eventually want back this month. My prescription had changed. They get me new lenses. I can't see with...

Well I have had my spasms now for over a month. New memories of abuse have come up since that which we are trying to work out through EMDR but I keep dissociating which is not helping. If the body scan was the source, I do not want to do it ever again. I have not done much since. I am too afraid...

Has anyone experienced a memory of abuse where the first half you ate in your body and feeling the physical feelings you did at that time, but as the memory progresses to a worse part you switch to viewing it from outside of your body and you pretty much lose the physical sensations? I am...

OMG I didn't mention it in the post but that is exactly how mine started. My therapist told me to start doing mindfulness and meditation and initially the spasm started while I was doing body scans during meditation. Eventually they started linking up to memories of my dad and from there they...

Does anyone else have uncontrollable muscle spasms during flashbacks of childhood abuse? I am triggered by different memories of my dad. For the past month now i am constantly having muscle spasms that always start on the left side of my stomach. Sometimes they are mild and stop there. Depending...

My T decided it would be best to work on one of my nastiest memories. It is not a full memory but none the less has horrible feels that tag along. Anyway he kept talking about abreactions but i had already started to dissociate and missed most of it. Is anyone familiar with this term when used...

ThAnk you blueorange. We are working on finding ways that I can stay present I've moved over to the other side of the room so I can't stare out the window we're only doing EMDR with my eyes open and he's more aware to constantly be checking on my presence. Dissociation is not helpful when we are...

@A little lost, please know that I am in your corner and I hope you're able to fight those demons and bring them to the light soon. It is so worth it. I know I fought the battle for a long time and it's so liberating once you purge your soul of The Evil Within. You will get there in your own...

I can also relate. When I am getting flooded with memories my want for let's call it destructive sex is out of control. My T said it is perfectly normal and just your body's way of dealing with all the feelings. It sucks when it is happening though I thought it was losing my mind a couple weeks ago.

Thanks Alis. Mine is very similar. I never lose time and I am just now becoming more aware of what dissociation is and when I do it. Pretty sad that it has taken me 50 years to discover this. I am so grateful that I finally have an understanding and knowledgeable T to help me through all of this.

For those with experience, I am just curious about how you discovered you had other parts? And in the beginning how did you know it wasn't just your own thoughts or inner voice?

Yes. Sorry. I swear I fixed it and now I see I did the same thing in the body of the question. I think I have poltergeists.

Sorry really screwed that title up.

I am new to this and I have no idea how to avoid it during emdr, but I have found that I can usually avoid didspciatinh if I can maintain fairly frequent eye contact with T. The problem is once things get too uncomfortable I start the car off stare and I am home. He usually uses a cold Coke can...

PSH good for you. The freedom is amazing. You may want to write it down as well before you go. If you can't get the words out just hand them the paper. I know I dissociate every time something is too upsetting so I am learning to always have a paper backup. I will be thinking about you and...

Ragdoll Circus, thank you so much for that response it makes a lot of sense I think. I think one of my main problems is that I grew up in a very abusive household as an only child so I've always lived my entire life in my head and I've always had non-stop conversations with myself in my head so...

PSH I totally know where you're coming from wanted to get it all out off your chest yep being too embarrassed and worrying about what they might think or say. I just want to let you know that I finally spilled all my beans today I started with a letter The Giver most important parts and he...

So my session went pretty good today I was hoping the therapist would just read through my letter and maybe discuss some stuff at the end and be done with it but no he had to go line-by-line and make comments he's way too nice but things are good he now understands me more. Since we're not doing...

Thanks again Simply Simon. I'm not so much worried about the diagnosis anymore. At this point I'm just trying to understand what's really happening. I guess my main mean voice is more male and my helper voice is more female or more like my own voice. This is just all so new to me and I've always...