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This reminds me of the "Christians" who believe AIDS is God's way of punishing gays. I'm not sure if I beleive in God, but he/she would be a loving god, not a spiteful one. Distance is important - physically remove yourself from people who cannot support you. Your younger sibs would benefit...

If you're white, you're fine. If you aren't, it depends on destination. Regardless, it always pays to be vigilant. I came thru US customs on Sunday and was surprised that all foreign visitors are now fingerprinted. That bothered me. A reflection of our recent escalated xenophobia...

1. US politics, all day, every day. 2. The f*ing scale. My body and I have a civil war going on around ideal body weight. Alas, it has a bigger ARSEnal...har..

I agree with @Socha, as you've only been there 2 months, will you raise attention as a trouble maker, possibly? I think that there's a good chance this work romance will fizzle on its own given the situation. I also find that almost every job comes with some sorts of quirky people and...

@PTSDfree I am wondering if you attended the weekend event? I am exploring the idea...thanks.

Nice work, Copper. Be kind to yourself and realize it is ok to go slow.

I know you have Super Empathic Powers and all, but when I tell you how I feel and you say that's not what you feel, I really don't get your point!

If there is a sincere apology it makes a huge difference. People didn't apologize in my family and it took me a while to learn it was a sign of strength to apologize and to accept it. Then there are jerks who don't care about your feelings. I agree it is protective not to give them a second...

OK, now we're getting somewhere.

Not quite yet. You need to tell her the outages are an issue. I waited a couple of years to say something to mine because initially I was intimidated and sat on my resentment. Finally, I told her that missing so many sessions (like 1 or 2 per month almost every month) was excessive, wasn't...

I can only afford my T 1x per week until I meet my insurance deductible, which takes several months, then I can go back to 2x per week, so I feel your pain. I see a difference when reduced to 1x a week as the work is not so up front and in my face all of the time. That may make progress a bit...

Good for you! Congrats on the big leap.

You had me at"artificial relationship". WTF? I would be all over that! Is he saying that for his sake or yours? One thing I have learned over the last few years is that Ts are far from perfect and eventually will think they understand us, be wrong, then say something stupid. I think it would be...

This type of triangulation can be common when one person has an establsihed relationship w a T and a third person enters the picture. Although you worked w her before, her allegiance is w him. Is a third, unbiased therapist an option? It is unfortunate he seems to be missing the wooing or...

Thank you! As much as my logical and analytical self wants to question all of this parts business, it has truly been the biggest breakthrough for me. Amazing stuff.

I so appreciate everyone sharing their experiences here and will re-read and chew on this before I head to therapy this week. It's reassuring to know I'm not alone in this and there is a way forward.

Since I don't cry in real life, crying in therapy is mortifying. T assures me it is ok to cry and my eyes will well up but it is a lot of vulnerability to show myself feeling that depth of sadness.

@Hope4Now thank you so much for this. It means a great deal to me and is very encouraging. I love the fact that my T has the fortitude to do whatever it takes and isn't accepting my push back when I tell her I do not like this work. Your words are encouraging and it's good to hear your story. I...

Stopped by a dispensary to get some edibles because I tried it last weekend and really liked it. They sold endicot, sativa and hybrid forms. I do not like a heavy head buzz! I liked the gummy that I had before because I could cut it in thirds and not get blotto. Not medical but these days not...

I do not agree with this line in the sand. The brain is and remains malleable throughout our lives, there is not an "off" switch at 30, otherwise, why continue education, go to therapy, or do anything past 30? In fact, the older I am, the more I appreciate the importance of relationship, foster...

@Ragdoll Circus your post makes good sense. Ironic that I am in therapy to deal w trust and interpersonal relationship and it turns out the bigger challenge is taming an internal herd around those issues. I think sabotage is a good word. I am going to keep at this. Thanks for your help.

Killa, that is exactly what is happening. Protector part apologized as it saw how distressed and dissociated I became last week and I have asked it to let me be myself in therapy. It's goung to take more convincing and time - "old habits" I see. Thanks @Ronin we only.communicate by writing, no...

Last year my T and I dove into some heavy IFS work. We have agreed that when I go into therapy, I am not my true self as I am not free to chatter nor much free dialog - I am shut down a lot of the time, and we are attributing it to a part. I have written to this part who said they are protecting...

Perhaps you can come to an acceptance that we have "frozen states" or parts of our psyche that hold the pain. Through non-dominant hand writing, I make amazing yet painful and informative discoveries that never would have happened otherwise. Sometimes it's still unbelievable, but the big thing...

It is sad. You have a lot of your self invested in this relationship and sometimes it's easy to forget about the financial end of it. I can see the hurt you feel, and I would feel the same in your shoes. I sense you feel an urgency for finding a resoltuion and I get that, but you don't need to...