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I use to be where you are, unable to cry. Now that I am discussing my CSA and rape with my psychologist, all I seem to do is cry. She has reassured me that this is normal part of the healing/grieving process.
I am very proud of you for recognizing that you need help, before things spiral out...
I totally get what you are saying about being a professional social isolationist, because I am, too.
For me, it has been an issue of desiring a better life for myself than the one I have had thus far. If you want more from life, then I suggest you carefully, thoughtfully, and with micro-steps...
No, I didn't. I didn't even tell my mother, until four years after I had been raped. Then, I only told because I realized I needed help. Unfortunately, my parents did not handle things well. I ended-up being re-traumatized.
So many people have let me down and added to my suffering...
I know this is old thread, but I'm hopeful someone might read my post, and be able to offer some suggestions.
The psychologist I am working with keeps saying that I am putting the cart before the horse, but these physical sensations of pain mixed with the icky (might kinda feel good) sensations...