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I know Laurence Heller, but have not read his book. I was coming from works like John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth, pioneers of attachment theory, and from my own experience with this existential fear and survival in therapy.

Sorry, but I did a page search on page 1 and can not find the phrase "It's abusive". No problem, I agree with you that it was not the most exact sentence with the word abuse in it, which indeed can be cause for misinterpretation.

Children are not born a sadist. How were you treated in your childhood that could have made you develop this? It is a known psychological defense strategy that when people are hurt themselves, they can start acting out hurting others. I tend to believe that in the first place you were a victim...

I tend to agree with you. When thinking from a child's point of view, it will do anything not to be abandoned. In case of very poor attachment to parents, a child may go up to total strangers to try to find a connection or something to attach to. This is described in literature. It could be that...