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Mixed messages has been one of the hardest elements for me to cope with personally, my "sufferer" often contradicts herself repeatedly. For example: She doesn't feel like I love her or I care, but she doesn't feel comfortable or able to listen to me express myself. She hates been treated like...

Yes spot on Hojay, because you learn so much is down to the condition, and when you get moments of clarity you see the old them peeking through, it leaves you in this circular cycle of "maybe one day they'll be back", it's like a revolving door, you're in and out and in and out. I am trying to...

The bit that resonated with me the most was we keep seeking closure because deep down, we don't actually want closure. We don't want to accept its over, we don't want to let go, we still have some slim hope that perhaps it can be fixed, when perhaps it never can be.

Yes, unfortunately I highly doubt mine will have anything approaching a happy ending (even if it does, it won't be for some time any way) so I am hoping I can help others on here by sharing my own experiences. It's very hard, if we are empathetic people we're hardwired to want to help our...

Good article, I admit it's especially hard for me as somebody whose personality likes clarity and order, suspense and surprise are not my ideas of fun, something happening that is bad and getting no explanation really does mess with my equilibrium and leaves me scrambling about frantically, that...

That's a fantastic post @Friday, I sometimes have trouble expressing to people about how I understand my "sufferers" behaviours, but equally don't condone them, not long term. She should recognise them and work on trying to deal with them in some capacity when they step over the line.

You're right @grimalkin, closure really is something we have to create for ourselves unfortunately, there's no telling when you'll be offered anything by them or when they'll be in a position to offer something with clarity. That is what I have learned quite rapidly, when my sufferer had a...

Perhaps you will drift apart, maybe you will decide you've lost the fight this time too. That's the thing though, you have to do what is best for you as well not just them, if your body and mind is starting to tell you that you're done then maybe you are? Or perhaps you'll get the recharge you...

Detach yourself from it and focus on caring for yourself otherwise the fatigue and resentment will only grow. The sadness is hard to do much about because obviously you want to be with the person you're missing, but if you keep distracted and focus on keeping yourself from growing more resentful...

You're right, those conversations SHOULD happen, it's really difficult waiting for something that may just never come, or inevitably comes too late unfortunately. Don't feel bad, it's normal that you want to have these conversations, so did I (still do, just resigned to not having them), it is...

Yes and no, but sometimes discussions just have to happen even if it's not ideal for either party, there's of course a difference between forcing somebody to be uncomfortable and simply being polite to get the situation sorted or the answer required. If the alternative is to just put everything...

That is the hard part @grimalkin, sometimes discussion just HAVE to happen, whether they can deal with them right then and there or not and it can cause more withdrawal and conflict. Sort of happened to me today, she HAD to speak to me about what happened last night, it lead into others things...

It's the best way to do it, I know I still love her, she may not know what she wants or feels right now but if I still felt that way and she wanted to discuss maybe working things out, it'd have to be based on boundaries, because like you say I'm not interested in repeating mistakes and getting...

Keep living your life, it sounds so obvious but it is vital. Don't give up what you enjoy, don't neglect things and go out with your friends if you can. Most importantly, don't feel guilty for it either, it's not a knock at your SO if right now they can't function but you still can, you have to...

It's a tricky one that is for sure, just adds further complication to the already complicated PTSD sandwich. Everybody's situation is of course not the same, mine is complicated in different ways but I see so many supporters with such complex situations with so much nuance, which makes it very...

I have personally unfollowed my ExSO, I did when she was still my SO. It will only trigger memories or place them in your mind, so it's much safer to just put up barriers if you can, for both of you. I know yesterday my ExSO read my statuses I put about how much I hated 2017 and everything that...

In my situation the issue is she has a controlling and abusive friend who literally dictates our conversations, even tonight he's sending messages to me on HER phone (tonight it's "I'm having a ball of a time" with a photo, so clearly designed to annoy me and say look how much fun I have with...

Unfortunately there is no real happy ending with mine, we're not together any more, we still talk but I am fairly close to terminating that because of somebody else in her life, regardless of her claims that I am still the most important person in her life. You have to think what is best for...

It is unfair @Hojay, very unfair, all of it. It's unfair on them that they have to suffer PTSD and it's unfair on your that you have to be the recipient of the rage at all their excess stress. It's even worse that they just drop us out of the blue, I understand it's a coping mechanism but at the...

You need to start focusing on yourself, let him have his space and work on his emotions as he requires. I've kept repeating that but it is true. You went and sexted this person because your husband wasn't fulfilling his duties as a partner to fulfil you emotionally, does that suck for him? Yes...

Both are true, in the moment they're saying them, the difference is when things calm down which ones are they continuing to say? I went from being all she wanted for a decade to "not into this" and "I need a friend more than I need or want anything else", now our relationship is being strangled...

Glad to hear that Seeking, good luck!

Talk to them when they reach out, it's a big deal for people to reach out and try, even it is just some sort of small back and forth, it shows you're still there.

Yes, mine withdrew, cut me out more, said I was making things worse, lashed out at me about my flaws that suddenly had now appeared, eventually stated despite feeling like there was a gap in her life she "wasn't into this right now" and we've basically broken up as a result of it. She still...

Sweetpea is spot on, enough is enough when you personally decide it is. It is your right to decide what the final straw is, your feelings are just as valid as the "sufferers" and your needs are just as important.