Search results

Sounds like boundaries are being crossed TT, respect runs two ways.

I am glad to be able to help in any way I can, it's hard, very hard, lack of communication is just a massive heart ache, it will take time, I hope it works on, this forum is a god send!

Time is sadly what you'll need to give things, in mean time, look after yourself too, don't let it wear you down completely, you need to be the best you that you can be.

It could be that it simply started getting a lot more serious by your second date, and that's what triggered a stress response in him, suddenly it wasn't just some fun and getting to know each other, more was happening and it could have startled him and made him question if he is really ready...

Fingers crossed, it's a very tricky one because you don't want to just drop it on them, but obviously I am very much set on, if we're not going to work on a long term relationship I'm not interested in just being friends with her, because you're right, I do love her, she is the love of my life...

Yeah, it's quite frustrating unfortunately, I'm not sure if we're broken up, broke up with intention of revisiting it when she's in a better place, still together but just on ice or plain old we're together, it's just a lull spot. So I am forced to We have done during this bad spell yes...

Not really, my SO/ExSO was always very much into me, wanted to know things, talk etc, in their bad spells it's all about them, recovery and survival, that is their focus and that is where their mind understandably is. It's not meant to be taken personally, but they need to care about themselves...

Yeah I'm not sure, she was asking if I read the articles about how PTSD affects relationships last night and was pretty happy to hear I was learning about PTSD, so on that hand you could say she still thinks of us as together, just on ice. I'm not entirely sure, I know she won't want me gone...

It's difficult to discern, but I try to put more stock on how my SO behaves when shes in a calmer spot, she's more able to collect her thoughts and express herself and we both know that she's not fighting a immediate battle right there and then. It's very difficult to figure out, when I am in a...

It's very hard yes, I took it as so you didn't want space then, but you didn't want to talk? We can't do both! I can do the whole I don't want to interact but just be in the room/building with me if we were in person, but when we're just reliant on texting etc at the moment it's a total...

It can be, I have bad mood swings (in terms of up and then way way way down) and I am still not exactly stable about all this, but I see that I need to focus on myself and trying to learn coping mechanisms, for my own good long term. It's very difficult, and you're going to struggle at first...

Yeah, he's invasive of what we're discussing (she says because she thinks he is jealous basically, I'd agree, I suspect he would love for us to not be speaking or breaking up very definitively), it bother's me because I think that motivates any sort of "nice" behaviour he may engage in. He may...

It's so difficult, I honestly have absolutely no idea what we are anymore. I got "I'm not into this right now, but without your there is a gap in my life and I won't abandon you", very vague and nebulous. Does that mean we're broken up? Broken up with intention of revisiting at a later date? Not...

All my other relationships I have been used and I have very bad trust issues, with OCD it's a potent mixture. I sympathise with how you're feeling, it is very difficult, for me this was the one woman who was always a constant and never wavered in what she felt about me, so to see her do so has...

RE: Social media, during my SO/ExSO's isolation periods, she will play a lot of her game on Facebook, so whilst she's on there it never meant she was necessarily being social with others and not me, she was actually just distracting herself. From what a few say on here too, isolating from you is...

It's a very tricky situation you're in grimalkin. You may be on to something, my SO/ExSO really drove home how important it is for her to recover her control of life by being to one making her decisions, when it isn't her she doesn't feel any accomplishment or like she's made any progress...

It could be his way of saying he's incapable of loving in a relationship right now, new relationships can be a big change, to people who need to process changes like that in a different way it could be too much, too soon.

I've known my SO/ExSO for nearly a decade, just hearing her say she was hurt but felt she was missing a piece (I.e. me) it's just that thing that makes your day, it's like they're still "in there". It sounds like you too are on a long journey and it's one you know is right for you, I'm really...

Also, let me add a perspective as somebody who suffers from OCD (it'll have it's own nuances but it may help.) On the good days, I'm confident, I feel able to say what I want, to be who I really "am" at my core, I feel safe, I feel stable, I feel like my world is rotating just as it should be...

Mine has yet to meet my friends in person, but she is now talking to my best friend via social media, they seem to be getting along really well, my friend knows some things but not every thing, their convos tend to chug along at a good pace and they get along quite well as far as I know. My best...

Sounds like you got the sign you needed Seeking, really happy for you!

If it helps, me and my SO/ExSO (I hate typing it that way but it's so unclear) stopped speaking for about a week, then she came back and text out of curiosity of whether I was ignoring her or not. They can isolate quite extremely and still come back to speak, I can't tell you mine has come back...

Thank you for the post @Mon15, time seems to always be the answer in so many things PTSD related. I appreciate my fears about it just being too late and getting too far gone are my own, she isn't useless, and she's brining it up more frequently so it clearly bothers her and it clearly upsets...

Don't get me wrong, I certainly don't feel responsible for it, she chose to open up to this person and invest themselves emotionally into them at a time she was closing a door on me. I know I can't "rescue" her, I don't think she's a child or anything like that, I mean it's pretty clear the cogs...

Just out but to confirm without too much details, yes abuse is part of her PTSD. She's had a lot of bad men in her life.