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Me too, but then he looks at me and says he is proud of me and he is choosing to hang in there even knowing what is going on with me and I think well maybe there is hope for me yet. He could leave any time he chose, I would not make him stay but he doesn't and so I just go day by day:)

I have been getting better as well, it used to be that I would be like this all day every day. Not sure why he has put up with it for so long but he is still here after five years so that helps. Now I am like this maybe once a week, but this month I have been getting real bad again as the...

Don't know how to stop the downward spiral when I get on that path yet but I completely understand, want to crawl under my desk and cry with you right now. My beloved gets so distant from me and looks at me like a am a particularly nasty form of bug that crawled up out of the dirt. I did so...

Annie B Thank you, first I wanted to say I did not take your words as an attack of any kind. I was just wanting to reply to what you said. Thank you for sharing, sometimes when I read what others have been through I think, dang girl you didn't have it that bad. I wasn't raped, or beaten...

Annie B: I agree with you I want to forgive them and let go of this anger and hurt. That is why I feel so guilty to feel this way. But it is how I feel right now. I am trying so hard to let go but then I go to sleep and the nightmares come and I wake up angry all over again. I am really...

Thank you all for your words. I have been in contact with my parents for five years and their remorse seems real enough. It is amazing watching them. First I watched them both regress. It was so weird seeing both my parents act the age their were when their abuse happened. My dad seems to...

Welcome Brad, you are not alone!!

My mother was sexually abused by her biological father. She developed PTSD which was not even a term when she was a young person, then she almost bled to death as a young woman because a male doctor was not interested in hearing her and listening to her. She married my father who had developed...

I am looking into getting a cat too..it is so nice to hear that it helps PTSD. I have been afraid that I would be no good as a pet mama because of my PTSD, however I have read that Oxitocin is released when petting an animal and that Oxitocin helps relieve PTSD symptoms especially anxiety and...

Thank you, I have been wandering around reading people's stories. Wow it feels so much better knowing that I am not all alone!! The postings I have read have been so frank and so real. You know the one thing I get out of all those stories though? HOW STRONG WE ALL ARE!!! Just think everyday...

Thank you all for your warm welcome: franciemarnie: My given name translates into English as Cunning like the Wolf, and my middle name translates into English as Small Adolescent Cat. So I thought wolfkitty was a good name to choose =) Barconian: What about my introduction gives you the...

So glad I found this site. I have therapists, I have family, I have doctors, I have case workers...the list goes on and on. The only thing I don't have is a support group of fellow PTSD'ers. I very much need people to talk to. I am tired of being sad, I am tired of being afraid, I am tired...