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One the one hand: Yes. On the other hand: I want to help. He has the opportunity to eat at work but he says he sometimes just does not have the time. What he does: takes some caffeinated chocolate everywhere he goes and eats that instead of a proper meal. We talked about that, he understands...

My husband has been diagnosed with IBS and actually he does not follow a healthy diet. He eats lots of sweets, junk food, energy drinks, caffeinated chocolate, skips meals at work because he claims to be to busy to eat and typically does not eat "real food" (=food that is not junk) unless you...

Thanks for your answers, Scout, thank you so much for sharing. So you really do not realize where you are if you have a flashback? Sweetpea, thanks a lot. It sounds like the both of you have worked a lot on your relationship and have a great marriage now. I think my Vet is a little bit...

Wow, two children within two years. That will be much stress. Your husband has been through a fire recently? Do you have any support for the both of you, who may be could also help with the children?

Thanks for your answer; scout. Is discussing your symptoms for you just as bad as discussing what your mom did? Sweatpea, does your Vet also avoid discussing if he is feeling uneasy? Like your Vet mine has certain behaviours by which you can tells he is feeling stessed, one is chewing his...

Thanks for your answer. I do not know if my hubby has ever been in a life-or-death-situation. I would find it helpful if my spouse said "I know you are a little bit afraid of crowded places... but do not worry I do not think that makes you crazy or less male and I am still very proud of you"...

There is another example of what I hate. My Vet and me went to a cafe, everything fine. There was a construction side nearby, my hubby did not mind at all. It was not really loud. Suddenly my Vet started hating the place, no idea why, nothing changed and he started gossiping about the owner...

Sorry, that I am not answering all of you guys. It does not mean that I did not carefully read everything you wrote. I just do not have the time today + also am somewhat confused.

Thanks a lot, guys. I felt incredible frustrated when I wrote that. Now I have cooled down a bit and realized that it is probably just to hard for my big guy to talk about his feelings. It leaves him feeling vulnerable. Sweetpea, educated about combat PTSD. Somewhat, but I guess not educated...

((())) Thanks. I won't stop and I hope that my husband also will make the best out of it. Do not want him to be perfect, just try his best.

Is your father a Vet, too?

No, I fell pregnant. I married him because he proposed to me and in my culture the unwed mother and her child are looked down on... and I thought "he proposed to me, it would be foolish if I decline". I had only a short time to think because we wanted to marry before it showed. I was young and...

Yes.

A question, Snowangel, how do you know my husband is really doing the best he can do and not only in a comfortable situation? I am much younger than him, I gave up my career in order to be a SAHM (which was not my choice, I fell pregnant, he did not want to be a stay at home Dad) and I cannot...

When I was a kid, our parents took us interesting places, showed us the world and so on and I loved it.

Unfortunately I will have to stop writing for today (lack of time). I really tried to make clear to my husband that I do not think he is a wuss. That I am very proud of him, that I do not think he is crazy and so because I know that is one of his fears that people could think he is crazy. I...

Well, too be honest I for my part found your answers a little bit offensive because you seem to think that the Vet is always in the right no matter what and has the right to treat his spouse and his kid like a doormat, lie, refuse to talk and so on. Right from the beginning I felt you were...

Well, I already know why I do not like wusses. Do not need any therapy to find out. My father is a great guy with lots of ideals, but also a wuss when it comes to some things. There have been instances when he failed to protect us for reasons of political correctness and wishing to please his...

I do not see him as a failure. Never. I am so proud of him. He would NEVER pick any crowded places, festivals, popular restaurants, tourist attractions, town centers and so on. He would always pick places where nobody else is... but I have a need for crowds. I really do need that to feel alive...

But if he had cancer and couldn't go places because of that and would claim "It's not the cancer, no there is something wrong with the place... and by the way: we always go places"... wouldn't that, too, be wrong?

You know, I think my problem is that my husband couldn't care less about what kinds of needs I have. :(

By the way, I suggested Marriage Counseling to my Vet, he did not want it. I suggested I seek individual counseling to be better able to cope with his issues which are plenty, he did not want it. He did not want me to discuss him with a stranger. He is seeing a therapist.... but he does not...

Ah... okay... you think the reason why I receive that kind of treatment is that there is something wrong with me... and what is it that is wrong with my to your mind? What does a person typically do to deserve being not talked to / lied to? Even if I deserve not better, doesn't our toddler...

Sorry, not sure if I understand. Why don't you think that I am not assessing the situation well? ... And: Yes, I am frustrated... it is because he puts me through a lot of things (OCD like behaviour and the like). I am always trying to do my very best and he does not go places with me and what...

I'll copy what I wrote in another forum. Background: My Vet went to the bar with his buddy but did not take me. I wanted to tell him it is okay, because I understand that he experiences hypervigialance and can go to the bar with his fellow Vet but not with me, but he only cracked stupid jokes...