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Exactly they are of little relevance. What is relevant is listening to our inner voice. We have a built in security system that alerts us to danger. I don't fight it ..I listen. BB wishes to take the very essence of our survival gift and tell us something is wrong with us. Whhhhat??? LOL

My T suggested exploring BB. Namely vulnerability. Upon further investigation I found her work shallow and disappointing. The whole "us and normal people" vibe in this thread is disappointing as well. Trauma survivors are wholehearted. We feel we love and have self esteem and peace. That is...

It's not about being clairvoyant. It's about being who they are. All I require they be is a basic decent human being. Words mean nothing to me. Actions do.

I want to thank everyone for their thoughtful posts. As a rule I like to keep it short. However,I feel a long rambling post coming on. LOL I'll be back after my PTS brain settles down. Thank you.

Thank you! You understand! :)

Exactly. BB dismisses our every attempt to face our fears and then tries to tell us something is wrong with us. That is what happens when people have shallow thinking styles. Yes,it's all about safety. :)

Yes they do. That's what I'm trying to say. They should have their own. If I feel like I have to point mine out or show them theirs....what the hell good is that? Something is wrong with them.

Exactly.

I am happy you found something that is working for you. The road to healing has many different paths. What works for one person doesn't for another. :)

Only if you are into telling people what to do! Truly wholehearted people have their own boundaries. Healthy ones. Do you understand? I've made it clear I don't agree with BB. I've not responded to your earlier post because I'm respecting you stated it wasn't up for discussion.

I understand what you're saying. However as a child the very reason I fought back was I instinctively knew what they were doing was wrong. I should add he wasn't a typical pedophile. He didn't groom me. He was violent. The two BB quotes I quoted.. say to me anyway...she connects vulnerability...

Wholehearted people don't need boundaries. That's what I'm looking for. Therefore I don't need boundaries. People show me who they truly are much faster. LOL It saves me from being surprised..later. :) Yes we all come with issues. I have a particular dear friend. He's a charming mess...we...

BB is asking us to ignore red flags. I love people! "I do show up." I am social. Problem is I see too many red flags. I can handle whatever life throws at me. That's not the problem. Why would I knowingly continue any relationship after seeing red flags?

Each of us survive/(ing) different dysfunctional dynamics. Myself being the family scapegoat was/is easier for me to process shame. It is as ingrained in me not to feel shame as it is for you to feel it. There is no right or wrong. I too must work on vulnerability. My trust issues are not based...

And what exactly what do you believe trauma survivors find her work helpful? LOL They understand SHAME isn't theirs to bear!!! LOL

Please share how you feel it was taken out of context. My point is vulnerability and shame do not necessarily go hand in hand. Brene Browns theory is insistent otherwise.

Amen @Pencil! At this rate the best we can do is know what it isn't. LOL

Thank you Meadowsweet! Brene Brown has connected shame and vulnerability in a manner completely unacceptable for me. I was shamed by my grandmother for biting my grandfather. My brother suggested kicking my teeth out. My sister was jealous. I see my family the same way I saw them as a child...

It's a beautifully strange gift! Who knew being completely powerless as a child can produce such insight. I believe our minds are more receptive to our environment than most people are willing to acknowledge. I don't fight flashbacks anymore. My mind senses danger before I do. I listen..:)

Rubbish! Well at least she used the word "appears." LOL Vulnerability is NOT the core of shame and fear and our struggle for worthiness. Perhaps it applies to some. Not all. Many of us have valid reasons for distrusting humanity. Our experiences have given us endless insights of what humanity is...

Are you aware PTS survivors dislike being touched? Are you aware many readers "heard" the same thing as me? I called you out in a humorous manner. To prompt you to "think before you speak." And shared why. If you choose to continue whining about it. You are certainly free to do so. :)

Do you always tell complete strangers you want to stroke their hair? LOL He didn't "make" me do anything. I was held down against my will. My brainwashed sister helped him. He thought I feared him enough to do what he demanded. Ask yourself what is revelant? His D in my mouth or me biting him...

Is it broken? Or still protecting us? I agree. Vulnerable child = wise adult. :)

Phillippa your words triggered me. "Sick dickhead and stroking my hair." You triggered me in a good way. My T has been helping me with acknowledging my strengths. The only time my grandpa gently stroked my hair was as he was begging me to unclench my jaw! They had to use ether to get me off...

Apparently she believes our self worth determines how other people treat us. Um..hello..where do I buy that pixie dust? LOL To be vulnerable requires trust. I trust myself completely. Self esteem? Got it! I endured a lot of abuse to keep it! Hopefully her website has a comment section and I'll...