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...my apologies, for I clearly had no understanding of the concept of 'radical acceptance' as I wrote this. Please disregard this aspect of my previous message. Kind regards to the community... M.

Hello (trying to keep this short), I wish I could economize and relate that openess with regards to vulnerabilities reliably translates into humane acceptance from the first, although for myself the greatest possible discipline is required to parcel out small details so as not to overwhelm...

Just an aside here, Coming in the wake of rather unpleasant workplace experiences where there undoubtably was unkind chatter, gossip, teasing, etc. to contend with - this absent any official recourse beyond "...oh, just ignore them!", I'm come to appreciate the value of white noise. The...

Welcome to the forum, As wildly difficult as it is to conceive of now, the enormous range of reactions and responses equating to ostracism and indifference felt within the grad. school experience will - in time - be processed and worked through to allow for another attempt in another, more...

Welcome, One of the books I chanced across that might help afford some sort of perspective was The Boy Who Was Raised as a Dog: And Other Stories from a Child Psychiatrist's Notebook -- What Traumatized Children Can Teach Us About Loss, Love, and Healing by Bruce Perry. In particular, the...

Keeping this short relative to the temptation to speak at length again... Perhaps I shouldn't have strictly related that I so much prefer younger relationship prospects as I feel painfully uncompetitive when my level of maturity is contrasted to members of my own age cohort. The truly awful...

Sorry - now noticing the clumsy edit. work across my previous message, For a brief period I did feel empowered in the wake of tossing out my email in-box and sent files complete. I couldn't believe I'd done it, that I could evidence the strength to resort to such drastic means to severe ties...

Thanks for the kind interest, In a sense I've backed in to assembling a memoir even as organizing such has proven very difficult. Across the holiday season previous to this one (2011-2012 being referenced then) I was asked by a trauma psychologist to commit to print what might equate to a...

Hello, With regards to my experience of being an open marriage projective plaything, one of the most disorienting aspects of the role (and it was a role) was what I'll term the 'performance' aspect of it. I don't know if I'm flying in the face of gender norms when I relate as much, but I found...

Thanks everyone for the very kind and considerate feedback afforded, My incapacity to relate to people occupying my everyday is rooted in traumatic legacies now interwoven with what passes for my studies. Depending greatly on the phase of the moon, I'm alternately aware and then oblivious to...

Gosh - looking at the other responses to this thread prompts further reflections, Indeed, I too have inadvertently played 'Scare the Therapist' with a tale of complex and interrelated horror that begs the question how I might still be alive. No need in this instance to elaborate, but some very...

Yes. Though not pertaining to us specifically, there is a well-known Asperger's website where they sell merchandise with logos that read 'Wrong Planet!'. That's it then - an assessment of the known facts contrasted to the present state of our boundaries paralleled to societal norms leads to no...

Responding here to the telegraphing of anger via facial expressions, I have a terrible time with this. My public demeanor and body language is quirky and tightly-controlled, whereas I just don't know how to trim it out to possibly call less attention to myself. If I visit a particular place...

E., Thanks for the kind notice. There was just something palpably unreal and strange about the open marriage relation that side-stepped what protective boundaries might otherwise have served to better protect me. Speaking of myself, my comparative immaturity seemed part of the value I...

In a manner of speaking, my hyper-vigilance accentuates both the best and worst aspects of my person. I love my interests in the social sciences, but these interests were prompted and amplified for being laid atop many a recollection of trauma that colors my message. I do believe that many would...

Greetings, (Spoiler Alert - Flight) Though a well-crafted film featuring fine performances, I caution all here to avoid 'Flight'. A very strong and incredibly vivid portrayal of alcohol and substance abuse throughout the film prompted me to stagger out of the theater for memories of my...

Consistent with all that has been related so far, the very safest place on earth to reveal such legitimate feelings of rage is in within the private audience of a trained therapist seasoned to revelations of such power. Resentment, outrage, personally appalling thoughts that equate to a desire...

Hello, First off, understand and appreciate that mine is just one voice, one experience, and that I might be wired very differently than others regarding what I judge a reasoned workload concerning the efficacy of independent application. It would be heartlessly cruel not to disclose as...

Hello, My experience is both quite different for gendered aspects of what I've gone through, but tonally not so different as you'll no doubt detect. Mine was an odd childhood dominated by an emotionally neglectful father who died early, whereas I was youngest of three children who invisibly...

Thanks for the kind interest, At present there just aren't many human actors in my life, whereas developing an identity within a new circumstance where feelings, emotions, etc. might be validated seems some time off. Throw off the crutch of making a creative exploration of the experience...

Hello, Within formal P.T.S.D. literature describing the dynamic of what one is perceiving and how they are reacting to it, the barely or uncontained emotional response to stressors is key. In short, one doesn't divorce out emotions from P.T.S.D. for the concepts and definitions are deeply...

Hello and welcome to the forum, Some similar territory covered here in a life-narrative sense. Generational patterns of abuse are common, dysfunctional habits of interrelation, etc. Sorry too to note the reflexive blame shift of family members, whereas keep investigating threads here and...

Thanks for the kind interest and attention afforded - it means much to me, The caution reference in relation to the triggering power of insider literature is entirely apt. I incautiously stockpiled psych. materials while still in my last workplace hoping if you will to erect some defense...

Hello, I'll try to be short. The writing of a trauma narrative has for me been a highly-fragmented affair that both raises anxiety, but in measure relieves a bit of it for having a clear narrative of what occurred on paper allows me to distance myself from select aspects of the tale. For...

Hello, Since age fourteen I've seen someone in one capacity or another. For the past year I've been seeing a clinical psychologist specializing in trauma, whereas it does seem the added expense affords better engagement across the couch. Though the experiences of each of us here is and has...