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I agree that first and foremost, having a competent, ethical therapist that you trust is the most important thing. A competent therapist will know (and admit) if they aren't equipped to "do" trauma work and can help you find someone who can (even if it's just for that piece of the work. What...

You are applying it. The thing about distress tolerance is that it's not going to "fix" things and it's not for long term use. The purpose of it is to bring you down out of the red zone - even if just a tiny bit. So let's say you're at a "10" in terms of rage and you are able to use some...

I'm not sure if explanations are helpful for you - for me they are, because it puts whatever is going on into the range of "normal". So - if it's helpful - what you are experiencing is very normal in a very real, physiological way. Everyone has what is called their "window of tolerance"...

Suicide ideation is crazy-making and exhausting. I have been in a relatively symptom-free zone lately (to the point where I've questioned the whole PTSD diagnosis)...and then seemingly out of nowhere - SI. Seriously? I don't need this. Cognitively, I can point to the stressors...and I'm...

I think unexperienced or stuck grief is an underlying emotion in a lot of situations. I think a lot of times, we (I) experience anger, fear and/or anxiety in order not to feel the grief, which can seem a lot more overwhelming than the "covering" emotion.

I am not an attorney - nor do I play one on TV, but I think what's happening is that the funeral folks are concerned about being sued if there is a next of kin who objects to cremation. So, I'm guessing that the form your sister wants you to sign is a waiver for cremation. That said, the...

@lostforgottensoul - I'm sorry you are going through this. It sounds like you are holding your boundaries, though. As someone else pointed out, I don't think there is any way you can be held financially responsible for your mother's debts or cremation. You might want to call legal aid to...

@ladee - it's amazing the similarities between what you wrote and what I experienced. @ssw - I'm not sure exactly what or why or how, but after years and years of suicide ideation, it has lifted. I think that one thing that helped shift it was radically accepting that it was there, that it...

It just occurred to me that maybe what I'm hoping is that it hasn't been PTSD at all - because the thought of a relapse back into that darkness terrifies the crap out of me. At the same time, I think I recognize that by denying the reality of it, I'm more likely to get myself back into that...

I guess the reason I like them so much is not only do the teachings resonate with me, but Chodron has a gentle, compassionate, yet straight forward way of presenting the teachings. She's not dogmatic, but rather says "don't just believe me, check it out for yourself". The teachings that have...

For the past 3-4 months, I have experienced a definite lessening (to the point of extinction for some of them) of my PTSD symptoms and am questioning the diagnosis. When I expressed this to my therapist, he recognized my progress but pointed out that when I'm "triggered", we can tick off every...

I love Pema Chodron. The Places that Scare You is a great book. Another one that I found really helpful when I was going through a particularly bad time is "When Things Fall Apart". I keep both of these books close by to just pick up and read random passages. I've also found her audio...

I did two rounds of DBT. It was immensely helpful in learning to self-regulate. I would recommend you put any trauma work on hold until you're stable and have some skills on board - especially distress tolerance. When you're ready to do your trauma work, I recommend researching different...

This is a generalization and really puts an entire group of people into a classification as "other". LGBT folk, as a group, are no different than any other group of human beings - there are assholes and saints and every character in between....most likely a combination of them (we all have our...

Except he's not going to prison - the judge thought that prison would have a "severe impact on him". He's going to county jail, most likely in a cell by himself. And...he's apparently eligible to get out in 3 months if he behaves himself.

I have pondered this for a long time. My perpetrator was my brother and, mostly, I have felt sorry for him. In the past, I was very angry at my parents for denying and minimizing the abuse and also for blaming me and not protecting me or my sister. I have worked through a lot of that anger...

Is it possible for him to get a harsher sentence on appeal? Would the same judge hear the case? I'm curious what grounds he will be presenting for appeal. I just read the judge's comments from the sentencing. I am appalled. And the fact that he is a Stanford graduate (and a former member of...

But the really disgusting thing is that it apparently was the right choice of words. It was a letter to the judge prior to sentencing. And then, even after receiving what was essentially a slap on the wrist, he intends to appeal the decision (although I'm guessing it's more about the "burden"...

@Ms Blue Sky - I hope this conversation hasn't hijacked your thread. You didn't say what 12-step groups were in specifically, but I get the impression that they weren't AA. I think that trying to use a 12-step model on any kind of trauma (such as those 12-step group that are geared towards CSA...

@ladee - I would "like" your post twice if I could. I think AA can help some people get sober and stay sober - and that's a really good thing. I have a friend who has been sober through AA for over 25 years. Fantastic. It wasn't for me...and I gave it the good ol' college try. I was in a...

I think that's the entire struggle in a nut shell.

This is exactly what is happening on a very real, physiological level. Your amygdala perceives a threat (which is a good thing if there is an actual threat) and tries to convince the rest of your brain that the threat is real.

Ah yes...in many ways a lot of things boil down to this. I have found, even beyond "recreating" trauma scenarios, if I am having an emotional overreaction, chances are I'm not in the present. Unfortunately, it takes me some time to figure this out. My amygdala has already decided there's...

Thinking about it a little more, I think for me, some of my "recreation" behaviors were done both to change the outcome and also to recreate the situation but be in control of it (I think there's a subtle difference between these two things). Again, it's complicated....and the brain is such a...

Like a couple other folks here, I never thought I was recreating my trauma. I never became promiscuous (actually I have the opposite problem), but when I was in my 20's I would put myself in really dangerous situations (hitchhiking alone, going way out in the country alone to party with men I...