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Statsattack- please consider beginning a new string to discuss your situation. People here are very supportive. You'll be glad you joined.

sonic- from a woman's perspective- beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Some men think I am drop dead gorgeous, others think I'm rather plain. They're all right because that's how I am to them. I am a whole lot more than my exterior. I have a pistol of a personality and am a loving caretaker...

On the face of it, that makes sense. At the same time it has a bit of a ring of avoidance to it. Sorry, but I have a lot of experience with avoiders, even without PTSD. Starting therapy now could make the whole moving process less stressful when the time comes. If he is unwilling to consider...

Eve, thank you for sharing your insights here! I beg pardon in advance if I cross- talk as much as second your advice on how much to look for support from friends and family. First- your point about juggling stressors is so very succinct and helpful. It reflects why I'm still hanging in at...

It sounds like you have a lot of strength and a good outlook already. I hope that he grasps what an asset to him you already are. The first couple of times my vet isolated, I didn't really grasp what was going on. Because he can't tell me a lot of detail about his work, I just assumed he was...

Welcome. You'll be glad you came here. I can relate so well to what you have said above down to being a fighter for what ls important to you and those you love My situation is similar in many ways, except my vet works overseas. When he isolates there's no warning, he just stops communicating...

You mentioned that he was working with professionals- past tense, not present tense. Is he currently in PTSD specific therapy? If not, it sounds like he should be. Hopefully this is something you can encourage him to do. It sounds like he is just hanging out at home pretty aimlessly? That kind...

Hi Natalie, you'll be glad you came here. I know you'll find this to be a very supportive place. I've found that learning about others' experiences and how similar they are has given me both comfort and strength- most days- . I hope it provides the same for you.

Larksong- I'm a supporter for a now retired vet as well. Mine works overseas so while my experience is in many ways similar to yours, the lack of day to day personal contact also makes it very different. I think that you having cone here looking for information is an excellent first step. This...

May I suggest rethinking the whole idea of a relationship being what you want it to be as the criteria for staying or not. Here's my reason for saying this- no relationship, even one without a PTSD sufferer ever winds up being what we as,an individual want it to be. It can't be because a...

I'm now approaching six weeks with contact limited to one email. My man works overseas so I was already accustomed to not having his physical presence, but I was accustomed to daily emails. When I am doubting that hanging in here for him to pop up again is the smart thing to do I read...

So sorry that this did not turn out better for you. A strong connection with another person is a powerful thing and even when short lived there's grief that accompanies its loss. It seems that you have a good outlook and even if you are not ready to give up hope just yet, you know where to come...

well, when a man has told me that I deserved someone better than him, I've never argued the point - I've moved on.

Well, only you know what your feelings for him are and only you can decide how much to invest, for how long and what you need in return. I know there are quite a few discussions here about unfaithfulness on the part of partners with PTSD. This may or may not be a manifestation of his PTSD. In...

You gave me a big lift with your thoughts earlier in the week. I'm glad to be able to return the favor while not glad for the need of it. I hear you about nuclear families. Mine put the fun in dysfunction. My dad had all the personality traits of an alcoholic, but doesn't drink and my mom is...

WOW! I see myself all over that excerpt and I'm not a sufferer- well, not of PTSD anyway. Frankly, I never feel better after procrastinating even though I think I will. That doom- loop description is on the money. And to think I almost didnt read this thread. Thank you Albatross!!

Good point-

How did it go? What's happened since? I have to agree with others that you seem to be very hard on yourself- you have to forgive yourself for only being human before you can really forgive anyone else. I learned in a previous relationship that its very difficult to really forgive someone for...

This probably isn't what you want to hear, but the fact that you've been friends for a year without escalating seems like a strong clue that he wasn't looking for more from you. The kiss on the forehead is certainly sweet, but not intimate in itself. The compliments- nice to hear, certainly but...

I'm glad she's maintaining contact. I wish I had some good input- mine works overseas, so its different. When he goes dark, he comes back via email. He picks up a conversational thread that got dropped a week or two weeks earlier. When that's happened I've just gone with the flow of the...

Mr Smith- cross talk or not, well I hope to be forgiven for the breach of etiquette :-). Thank you so much for your thoughts. I really appreciate it! I don't want to be let go and think he's finally starting to accept that- I hope! He has told me that I make him feel safe and that means a lot...

Well, for what its worth I can't imagine how continuing to live together is consustent with having broken up, but of course everyone's outlook is different. As to withdrawing v. breaking it off- in my experience there's a difference. My vet is currently working overseas and that probably is a...

Being patient is difficult. But if you want to be with and for her, its a skill you'll have to learn. I found that patience came easier after the third or fourth time mine went dark. Some days are easier than others and some are just bad, but it is what it is. There were links to articles...

Once a Warrior, Always a Warrior is a very helpful book for supporters even though intended for the sufferer. May I suggest picking up The Things They Cannot Say? Its a very compelling read- several vets offered a look at what they lived through and how it impacted them. I think those were the...

Thank you. He was not in another relationship. It was just the reason he gave at the time. He has indirectly acknowledged this.