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Thank you for sharing @Scarlet13 . I really respect your honesty. As I think I have said previously in another thread, as much as I know my partner can’t just “fix” this, as much as I know this is for life, if she was able to at least be honest & reflect as you clearly have & do, I would feel...

Thanks again all. @mumstheword @grimalkin @fac you’ve really given me A LOT to think about. Stuff that never crossed my mind & things I’ll admit I’m not all too familiar with. I am going to do some reading on BPD. There are certainly elements here that I can definitely recognise. There are...

@Justmehere 100% I am not perfect! If I was perfect I wouldn’t be on here searching for help, I wouldn’t be seeing a therapist, I wouldn’t be so cut up about all this & questioning everything...! And believe me no I have not always handled this “illness” that she may or may not have well. But I...

Again, thank you @Sweetpea76 . On top of all those other details you just listed, I’m not sure I’ve ever actually mentioned this next point in all of this thread. By the time my American friend stayed with me, me & my partner weren’t even a couple anymore that night. That is why she didn’t stay...

Thank you as always @Sweetpea76 . I feel genuinely awful for saying this, but if I’m honest hearing people’s assessments on here of her behaviour does offer me some validation for how I’ve been feeling. Don’t take that the wrong way; no one here, including me, knows exactly what is going on with...

Thank you again @Justmehere . No problems about where you posted your reply, my threads are probably really very similar anyway haha! Yeah I’m fighting against the “man up” thing by still being here & sharing with people who understand from both sides of the fence. And people are being so nice...

Thank you @Freida . The conundrum I find with managing all these things as a supporter is that on the one hand she as a sufferer needs to know I’m solid, stable & not going to leave. She’s going to need that security. Yet at same time, I need to look after myself. Which in my case may mean...

Thank you @Justmehere . Yes I really did rant in my other thread...actually, in all my threads! Haha! Yes I’m proud of myself for seeing a therapist to be honest. I’ve never seen it as a sign of weakness, quite the opposite. I felt myself needing an outlet so I did it. Problem is is I rant &...

Yes @EveHarrington , absolutely. That’s why I immediately followed that by saying “it’s what is happening & what is failing to be addressed that matters”. So wasn’t really jumping ahead, was questioning whether things would ever be “treatable”, in theory. IF she was ever willing to address anything.

Thank you everyone who’s actually read this thread. And of course those of you who have replied. I’ll be honest, I feel rather stupid now for ranting so much. But then I think I knew I would regret it, but I did it anyway cos I had to vent it somehow. So I’m sorry, but thank you. @mumstheword...

Dai iawn diolch @dulcia ! Never sure if Americans really know much about Wales, we tend to be the little ignored sibling of the Scots & the Irish haha! So a nice bonus to read your message! Thank you for the encouragement too. Yes as I have previously said, I understood this was tough for her...

Apologies this is definitely going to be an epic rant, incoherent & waaaay too long! I know it may seem selfish to talk so much, but just venting is needed right now. So I won’t be offended if no one reads this, it’ll still do me good to have an outlet. I’m feeling totally overwhelmed by all...

Again, thank you for your honesty @Supervixn . The thing is that I end up feeling like I’m giving an ultimatum by not standing for ultimatums! It’s a chicken & egg situation! Haha The thing is, there are certain “ultimatums” we could & should all make I guess. If you cheat on me/abuse...

@Supervixn thank you so much for your honesty & clarity. I am so appreciative to hear your perspective. And believe it or not I appreciate you being honest enough to say you would walk away from me too. It’s interesting tho that you still say I did the “right” thing even tho you know you would...

Thanks so much @Hojay for being so honest. And so sorry to hear you have such low expectations of men after your experiences. I am all too aware of how a lot of men are so I’m not going to naively defend us all to you! But I hope one day you can believe we’re not all cut from the same cloth...

Thank you @Milo's papa for sharing. Yes I haven’t been in this situation as long as you but I fully respect & applaud your resolve. I think it’s the being accused of things I haven’t said/done/implied etc etc that kills me so much when I’m trying so hard to be her everything. Clearly you know a...

Sorry to hear what you’re going through @Ja_yne . I wish I was in a better position to offer experience or guidance but I think I seem to be losing the battle of this illness & maybe losing my partner for good. So I am not sure I am necessarily in the best position to say much. Other than to...

Thank you @Supervixn for your reply. Apologies for slow response, I needed to take a back seat from actively being on this forum for a little while. Yes I can see exactly what you’re saying & recognise exactly all of that in my partner. She doesn’t trust men in the slightest (although I think...

Thank you to all of you who had written kind & supportive messages above. They were all very much appreciated. Apologies I didn’t respond sooner but I needed to take a back seat from this forum for a little while.

Thank you @Freida for your reply. I didn’t want to ignore anyone’s responses here & I have been reading the site since I last posted, but I needed to refrain from any activity. This thread had got to me at a weaker time I guess. In answer to your question, I did suggest couple’s therapy a long...

I only joined this site less than a week ago. I’m not the type of person who normally would be writing in forums about anything. In fact I never have before. So for me to be here talking about my personal life is a bit of a desperate act on my part. I apologise for just how much I have probably...

I’m sorry @EveHarrington but I really can’t understand or see what you’re basing your comments on? If you read what I had said, & in fact any other threads I have written in, I have made it repeatedly clear that I am NOT diagnosing my partner as PTSD. It was her own theory about herself. And...

Thank you @Snowflakes for your kind words & advice. I have been trying to encourage my partner into some sort of therapy for a long time. Not because I’m trying to get into her head & convince her she’s “crazy”, but because I love her, I see her pain & her fears & I see them destroying not only...

Yes @Sighs , i’m certainly not in any rush to advocate the sedatives tactic! Would really much rather she went of her own accord! Yes this is in fact all I’m looking to learn from being here, is to learn how to better manage things. I have no interest in diagnosing or in any DIY work. Clearly I...

Thank you for your comments @EveHarrington & I totally understand where you are coming from. I think you’ve drawn a conclusion about me that is not accurate tho. I am in no way playing doctor & giving a diagnosis. My partner has been subjected to & witnessed various traumas in her earlier...