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Yes that does help, thanks. My mother always touted her mothering abilities, so that is in my head. In fact I got punished for not respecting HER enough. So, being hit with an object seems abusive to me just like when she would freeze me out or not take me to the doctor. Those things are all...

I think you are right. I struggle with seeing my mother as abusive at all. But she was. I try to understand this both in and out of therapy and it is excruciatingly painful.

Ok, so I am going to point out the attachment perspective. I always feel that you have attachment struggles and that you fight it. You try to in many subtle ways avoid or deny your attachment struggles. I have seen this. I also see that you do often own your shit and thats great. My proposal is...

Actually the punishment did exceed her rights. She left marks and bruising. She let her boyfriend "discipline" me and this broke the skin. Both adults had major issues and let rage come out during the "spanking" even though they thought they were calm. We were hit until we cried. There was also...

Yes, this can be summed up just with the idea that I believe my mother perhaps constructed and used corporal punishment as a means to abuse. She could label it discipline and do it correctly on the surface but really it was abuse. It was severe, overly strict, and for little things that...

Hi, So I appreciate everyone's responses and am open to reading a wide variety of opinions. I have had many thoughts since starting this which is what I wanted. I should have specified my situation as individual at the start and some people wanted more context. I am thinking about how we even...

So my mother was definately abusive outside of the hair brush. I think the point is that we got the brush because of a tone of voice or a mess or a complaint. I would sometimes complain. I developped PTSD early on due to mollestation and my mother punished me for expressing emotion. She told me...

So I am trying to get through this confusion and thanks for the different opinions from both sides. I really think it was abuse in my case even though my mother was calm and was not 'angry' on the surface. She always held anger deep down. The hairbrush, spoon, and yard stick were used with good...

I think I am trying to get at the point that my mom was an abusive person and this was "disguised" as punishment. I asked my sister what we got the brush for and she said talking with a tone that was perceived as sarcastic. Or whining. Or complaining about something. She ended up breaking the...

I am looking for validation, but welcome any comment. I should have specified that. I am open to opinions either way, but I am really referring to my mother hitting me and my sister with a hair brush. I am just stuck in the minimization of it because it was presented as a punishment in a calm...

Well, so what is confusing is that my mom was calm and said "I love you." In a way this made it worse and more confusing. Why isn't it a straight forward discussion? Yes, being hit with a brush is abuse. Why does this always illicit a debate? The addition of an "I love you" and calm approach...

I agree. I have two degrees. I am a leader in my field. I grew up with money for the first 9 yrs of my life.

Thanks for your insights. I have gone far in life and am an over achiever, but I feel hollow inside. I have accomplished a lot and am continuing to do so in many ways because I have suffered. But, I do agree depression holds me back and I struggle with friendships.

Hi, So I know there have been many posts of this nature before. Is being hit with a brush as punishment abuse? If something is done as punishment does that make it abuse? Meaning planned with the parent being calm doing it for the "child's own good." What if you are living in the South where it...

I think there is a vulnerability there inside of people especially with child SA. This can be sensed by other people who want to feel better about themselves, to feel needed, to feel powerful when they feel shame. Your ex T chose you deliberately, but maybe this happened on a subconscious...

I felt triggered actually last night after responding to this post. My reaction to psych meds was very traumatizing, but hard to process and heal from. I am hoping to process it when I see my T. I may be taking a break from here for a while.

Ok, So I struggled with psychosis caused by post partum depression and severe sleep dep. I didn't sleep at all after the birth of my baby for one week straight and hallucinated maggots coming out of the trash can and the ceiling switching with the floor. I took an ssri for 5 mos which made it...

So, I can relate to this. I had an emotionally abusive mom and she makes having needs hard. I always had to work for her love and felt driven to earn it. She also did not keep boundaries with me and let me in on her sex life. So it was an intimacy, but not the kind of intimacy I craved, the...

Hi, So when I first read your post I felt like this T was totally crossing boundaries into feeling too much emotion and I would hate it if a T said something like, "I am feeling emotions for you " It would feel weird to me. This was my first thought. Then I remembered when my psychiatrist, who...

Yes, I agree. The feeling "special" total red flag. I think a friend can make you feel happy, strong, and gain a sense of identity, but special? When I was molested by a babysitter, she made me feel "special". This T is controlling you and manipulating you. I think with your new T, come up with...

So, I talked with my T today about all these feelings. The session started with me asking her about personal info as she was wearing an engagement ring and I needed to ask her. That was a bit much for me, so I will go back to not asking about her life for a long time. We talked about what my...

Ok, I can see these cognitive distortions. But, I am in trauma work. I feel like that is all I am. "The abused girl." See, this is really envy, which often mixes in with jealousy. Perhaps you already have these qualities, being articulate and intelligent. What we notice and envy in others we...

Its funny because the other night I dreamt I went to her house for a session. It was a great session. She then invited me to just stay and hang out with her family. I ate chicken with her brother. Her mother tutored me in math. I was kind of like a high school age. There are almost always...

This was in response to @Stephernovas . Therapists have to appear healthy and like they have their shit together. You wouldn't want a basket case of therapist.

Well, because they have to. I had a T who did not hide her issues. She was a bad T. I am working through my marriage problems and my T is going on a wonderful vacation It is just so easy to think she has this perfect enchanted life.