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Abstract, Thank you for your care. I don't have long and I've deliberately not posted anything as I'm pretty sure no one needs to hear the in and out of our sessions. We've been twice already. We decided together to carry on seeing the first counsellor as a couple and I'll be referred on to...

Justmehere, I came back from by business trip on Saturday, feeling a lot of anxiety about what would happen but doing my best to keep myself within a good frame. I was certain that we would have some overflowing of stress sooner or later, but I was not prepared for what happened almost...

Justmehere, thank you very much for your extensive reply, you must have been typing for ages to cover all of that. You ave picked up on a huge amount of points and I will read over your post until it has sunk in. On the point about bringing up her past trauma with the counsellor, I did not mean...

Neverthesame. I think you are right. All I can do is be aware of it that she has no other outlet. Thanks for the time you took to help. Matt

Abstract. Lots to think about there. My instinct is to fix things. The more I attempt to learn, the more I realise that I can't fix anything. Right now I have to find stability. I will read up on hypervigilance. I feel hypervigilant myself but I would say actively so, while her...

Fadeaway, Please do not feel the need to apologise. The hard messages are just as important to me and anything that is said that makes me look at myself instead of outward is positive to me. She does read, but will likely take it as an accusation if I show her any reading material. Unless I...

Hi She Cat, I don't know what is available to us and I don't know if this is appropriate. Enough people have said it in the replies to bring it to my attention. As I've been away for a week since this unraveled, I'll see how effective I can be in changes to my behaviour and expectations will...

Suzetig, I have a counselling session on Thursday, she has said she will come along to it. I have been encouraged by this thread to seek individual counselling and couples counselling. We can't do it all at once, there isn't the time or money I'm afraid. As I have had only one previous session...

Suzetig, And All, I want to be very careful not to cast too much of my own light on all of this. What is written is my perspective, I have tried to be accurate and balanced. What Suzetig has said has gotten me to recall two more things. I don't know if they are relevant, and I don't want it to...

Suzetig, My apologies for incorrectly spelling your name. My iPad saw fit to change it without asking! Matt

Suzette, When I encountered all of these things for the first time it was a shock. I wasn't developed enough to know what to do. As soon as we were living together she would fall asleep at about 6 in the evening and wake at 5 or 6am. In between she would be completely unwakable, catatonic (is...

Ronin, Again, taking the get a grip message on the chin. Life's expectations just changed radically for me. I'm still getting used to the idea. I guess the image I have of myself as having been a good husband and father is off by some margin. I don't think I was trying to make a point that my...

Hi Fadeaway, Thank you very much for taking the time to post. I have taken on board everything that you have said, including the harder messages. I don't wish to seem defensive; it is my right to address disparity as a husband, at the time I agree I could handled myself better, however I was...

Hi, I posted to another forum recently specifically to seek support for my situation and there has not been any feedback yet. On reflection I perhaps should have used this forum and I hope that there is someone here that can help me as I am pretty desperate! My original post was very long, too...