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I'm just getting angry at other people because my mothers family and my sisters are in total f*cking denial about what happened and tbf they don't even know the true extent of what happened. My mother treated my sisters very differently than me to the point i was left in the hospital alone as...

@Muttly , I’m not sure . I know it’s when I get frustrated with people like they aren’t listening to me or they don’t understand because no one can see what happened. @Movingforward10 too I suppose I need to have the self control to put my phone down and walk away and distract myself but I...

Attack other because they won’t do as they are told by gaslighting them, attack self because I’ve been a nasty piece of work, avoidance me trying to blame her, withdrawal because I’m guilty and ashamed of what I’ve done.

Attack other, attack self, avoidance ( me trying to say it was her fault) , withdrawal. Haven’t been out for a week

I think I can’t control myself. I can, I need to learn to control my emotions. Why did I do it after nothing for 4 months? I reacted the way I did because of shame and feeling inadequate and the fact my behavior last year ruined a friendship . I need to change my core belief system. It’s...

I understand, I have convinced myself I’m right because it makes it easier for me not to take responsibility for doing it. I was upset enough to ring the crisis line and it’s not the first time I’ve done it. disappointed and ashamed because i couldn’t control myself and was nasty because she...

Yes, I was feeling like I don’t know how to describe it, like really down and lonely. Like I was at the end of my tether down and lonely. But it’s your mum. The person I sent them to was an old friend. If she didn’t want to be friends fine but you can’t pick and choose what boundary to stick...

It’s always easier said than done.I find , and it might sound a bit daft, but when I find something that I know is true like I need a sleep routine or that I need to get in my head like the keto diet. I read and re read or re watch everything until it becomes normal to me. I even write notes and...

KA60, you shouldn’t blame yourself. Now you know what red flags to watch out for and you watch out for them, just treat it is a learning experience. I’ve come to the conclusion that All we can do in life is learn and that learning means progress. Even if it means like me you end up doing...

@Rose White , yes I think it’s because not giving up makes us abandon our own needs. I have to find a hobby or two now. I think I’ve sorted the health and sleep routines the best I can. I’m still burning myself out by resting for days then thinking I’m absolutely fine now and doing too much and...

I actually think I got nasty because I felt so ashamed of myself for doing something that she decided to put a boundary in place last February and never spoke to me again. I tried apologising and she was reading them so I stupidly started disclosing things that had happened over the course of...

It makes me think is this why I just don’t understand hobbies. It’s like I view them as a waste of time even though I know I’m supposed to try.

@Freemartin, I love this. I’ve screenshotted it to keep rereading, Thankyou x

not in survival mode. Pleased I understand why I can’t function today

@KA60 , I feel like I was taken advantage of last week by someone who had put their own boundary in place last year not to talk to me, which is fine. But then let me over the course of a couple of days disclose more information about myself to show why I wasn’t well and I was getting more...

@Rose White , I think you are right, for me I think it’s not giving up on my parents. My parents didn’t have any time for me and I didn’t have a relationship with anyone in the house. So I left when I was too young. I think I always tried to get my parents to notice me, probably why I send...

I watched Tim Fletcher on YouTube and he said too that if your only value has been in helping others that it’s not helpful to keep doing it which is the main reason I won’t go back to my old profession. Definitely something to avoid. Makes me think of my dad who died young from a heart attack...

@KA60 , I think I need to get my head around not trying to control everything. I find that hard x

I have always had an unwavering beliefs about not giving up and I have behaviours which reflect that, like messaging people and not giving up when they ignore me or working myself into the ground to the point I have made myself seriously ill and nearly died. Yes extreme. I realised the...

@shimmerz , Thankyou. I actually identified it from a response I got from a post I put up about subsiding emotional numbing. It’s so invaluable the support and input from people on here. Never stop learning is my motto. I think mental health professionals are so over run with work inside a...

I do feel it was more Shane and guilt based behavior than anger if that makes sense

@shimmerz ,@Muttly ley no its definitely not. I think its because the keto diet has left me in a situation were I did not have mental health support in place. I feel like its not dysregulation so much because it went on for 2 days and i was just being nasty and not like an angry outburst, it...

Went to the GP and they said not to change medication which I agreed with as its too complex to do. They said i needed links to social prescribers which is what i am going to do. The referral for a mental health assessment was good because they said they wouldn't be able to provide a service I...

I think because I’m starting to feel things, I’m feeling the guilt and shame by feeling what other people must feel like. Horrible and destructive behavior. Trying to hurt other people to make myself feel better. Pathetic I was thinking about the things I was saying, it wasn’t like an angry...

I think I am sad and guilty and full of shame because of how I felt about being nasty to people myself in the past and I’d had horrible feelings about how other people must feel. I rang the crisis line who said I was trying to pass on the pain because I don’t know what to do with emotions. . I...