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My treatment team has such hope for me. They tell me I'm intelligent and resourceful and therefore should be able to recover and have a great life. But I'm not going to miraculously bounce back from my life experiences. I don't even feel worthy of that. I'm going to be plagued by bouts of...

I don't just mean that I stop doing the extra stuff. I stop caring what happens to me. I stop eating and sleeping. To the point that I've had sleep deprivation psychosis. I feel paralyzed and in a fog. I'm not sure if I'm safe anymore, but I'm as tired of the hospital as they are of me. I don't...

Sometimes when I'm feeling really stressed and tired, I feel this urge to go somewhere, anywhere. I'm conscious, I remember most of what I've done and where I've been, it's blurry but it's there. I'm usually not very aware of what I'm doing, but I don't do anything particularly strange, I just...

I have a lot of hallmark symptoms of Ocd and I have since I was very young. My compulsions come and go, but they often return when I'm under stress (checking, counting, washing, repeating) I can't watch anything visually disturbing because I can't make images or distressing trains of thought...

I've been putting some of my childhood memories in order lately, remembering things, putting things in context and piecing things together, not to mention the never ending trying to fit it in an actual autobiographical timeline. But it makes me realize just how much the adults in my life aimed...

Sometimes I get flashbacks to weird but not overtly traumatic memories from my early childhood. Like disconnected pieces of memories, the things that happen in them aren't always very suspicious, but it's more the feeling that comes with them, this horrible feeling like I'm crawling out of my...

I got told information about my second stepdad and conversations that happened when I was 17 and the shit hit the fan, things I had never heard about. Things I never knew happened. Apparently my second stepdad threatened my dad when he found out I'd gone to the police. My dad isn't innocent...

It's been recommended to me multiple times, but I haven't tried it mostly because I didn't want to vividly recall my traumas in front of a therapist and I thought there were too many of them. I had a sense it would be too much for me. But now my flashbacks are getting really bad again, I'm...

I hate this bs. I made a post on instagram with a pic of my stuff being packed, relatively innocent, a comment about moving in two weeks and some hash tags. My hash tags in this case being #nobodycares and #documentingahobolife both of them being mostly in jest, because I move around a lot...

I have a chronic suicidiality about me, I think about it whenever I'm even mildly stressed. I don't know that I'm actually suicidal in the sense that I'd make another attempt, I've improved a lot in the last year or so and I can't see myself becoming that hopeless again, I don't want to throw...

I don't know how to take that. She's said more than once if I need support throughout the week to call during office hours, even making more of a point of it the last couple of sessions, saying she hopes I can get to a point where I can reach out. It's not like I don't have multiple times...

I had a dream about a week and a half ago, I'd been doing a bit better with sleep before this, but I had a dream that messed up my whole sleep cycle and I haven't been able to fall asleep at night for almost two weeks now. I had a dream about trying to run away from home. I already knew I tried...