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I went through quite a long time (almost a year) without thinking about suicide, but I'm back in that headspace again. I'm ok right this second, but I've had two episodes in the last two weeks where I didn't feel safe being alone because I thought I might hurt myself, and I have caught myself...
Pretty regularly (like multiple times per conversation) I will sort of "check out" and go on this sort of autopilot where I see someone talking, I hear the noises that are coming out of their mouth, but the sounds don't register as having any meaning (I'm listening but I can't decipher any words...
I joined the army when I was 19 years old. Right after I got out of BCT and was sent somewhere else for training, me and some other new soldiers were introduced to a male soldier who had been there a while and was assigned to show us around and teach us the rules, etc. He was very helpful...
Hallo, I'm not good at introductions and don't really know what to say here that isn't on my profile.
I guess the main reason I decided to look for a forum like this was that I've had symptoms of PTSD for about 6 years (and depression for literally as long as I can remember) but for a long time...