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I've been with my therapist for almost a year now. We've got a good therapeutic relationship. About a month ago I was hospitalized for suicidal ideation. Since then therapy has gotten harder and harder. Just thinking about going can trigger a panic attack and dissociation. I am at a point...
In the 18 years since I got away from my abuser I have lived in a personally inflicted war zone, feeling that I must put one foot in front of the other and hide any trouble I have. I did this by completely dissociating from any stressor and paying the price when no one was around for me to fall...