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If the military can alter the adrenal response, I'd like to know more. I am sick to death of my adrenals gone wild. Not towards violence, but a hyper charged state of vigilance. If adrenals can be trained, I'd like them to go the other way. I don't know about the military myself. But those...

If they died, you could be talking to them and they to you in spirit - in my opinion. I talk to loved ones that have gone on. I hear and see them too when I am in deep meditative trances once in a while.

Oh I know the feeling brokenWing. I have done so many things to get back although...I am not sure what you mean as to getting back to who you were. I think maybe before the traumas? The unbroken you? That's who I wanted to get back to. Not the numb me. The numb me didn't work except in the...

I am 58 too. I had a lot of anger and for good reason. Mine was shoved for years under alcohol first and then drugs later. When I quit all that - surprise!!! Rage emerged. The number one way I used to get thru that intense period was hitting a punching bag every day in addition to working...

Instant hyper vigilance is a trusted and familiar waker-upper.

It is so good to hear from people who feel significantly better over time. Hooray! I am so glad for you.

I have to pee. Bad. You can look forward to that when you hit your 40's. Music is good.

The fact that you felt undeserving of care in the hospital, not to mention the overdose, etc., suggests to me that way before your mom got sick -- there was damage. So I vote you find a good therapist who can help you sort out what's happened. If you were healthy and solid before your mom...

I got terrible PTSD symptoms when I took care of my mother at the age of 22 when she had cancer and died a year later. I overdosed too. I also had trauma as a child and this woke it up big time. Please seek help with a good therapist. And I am so sorry you had to go thru this too.

I withdrew from painkillers more times than I care to recall. It's basically over after five days. You have to be willing to tolerate the discomfort. But more than that, you need to have support in place to teach you a different way of dealing with pain -- and believe me, I know pain lead you to...

@scout86 - Perhaps you like the fruitcake because you share an affinity. Yuck, yuck. Only kidding. I find fruitcakes menacing. They eye me with too many pupils. No singular eye contact. What are they hiding?

Fruitcake. Never understood the fruitcake.

When some part of me felt safe again, I was able to cry. I came out of the Freeze of Fight, Flight, Freeze or Collapse. I didn't not cry on purpose for so many years. Trauma put me in a Freeze state involuntarily. Sad music has been most powerful to jump start it. For many years, I had no idea...

Talk therapy enlightened, but moved no trauma energy out so after 25 years I still had the same hyper vigilance, insomnia, etc. Somatic therapy, where you do not have to discuss details, has changed my body/brain and my life. There are other great therapies that focus on processing the...

Maybe try doing something you absolutely love to do. I remember once having the hardest time and it came to me that there were stables two blocks away so I called them and within the hour was on a horse. That brought me back to the present and out of the past. You must find something more...

Lately, what works for me if I am hyper vigilant before bedtime and I am physically exhausted, I do controlled breathing. My chiropractor taught me that the survival brain perceives no greater emergency than if I stop breathing. It will bring my body/brain back into the present. So I lay on...

I so identify @kath3141. One of the hardest things in life was for me to stand in my truth. When people deny my reality, significant others, I can go nuts. It messes with a person's head. I know what you say is Truth. But I am not family and family can hold so much power. They can break your...

I know the scapegoat role well! I grew up in an alcoholic home and that was my role (as well as caretaker and the one who acted out the family dysfunction. My brother took the high achiever role that belied the truth.) Anyway, alcoholic upbringing or not, when you are made the scapegoat, none...

Trust your gut. If you are not ready to talk about it, please don't. There may come a time when you would like to go into detail. You will know. Sometime trauma is about force and forcing. Don't do it to yourself. I talked for 25 years and it did little good. Somatic therapy does not require...

Thanks @Smile!! You brought a smile to my face and encouragement. For whatever reason - probably bodywork - the buried energy is coming up fast and furious now. It's there when I wake up and I feel like vomiting. No memories are attached. Just pure feeling. Ugh. Then I release and oh the relief...

Hi @Smile. If you think it might be related to early menopause - the sweats, etc. -- those sweats often come before "cessation of menses". At least they did for me in my 40's and it's a common symptom of peri-menopause. People can get menopause in their 30's too so it could conceivably happen in...

I had been asking deceased members of my family to let me know in a dream if I was on the right path or which road I should pursue and I had a dream with a clear, undeniable message. I was and am thrilled. Sometimes all is not as it seems. Tonight again - no pain. But my take on pain is...

I read that the hot flashes are from a flood of stress hormones typical to PTSD. For me, when I am cold inside my body and environment is not a factor and putting on a sweater or blanket does not help - then I know the Freeze of Fight/Flight/Freeze or Collapse has been activated. I like when...

The Valium, I believe and from experience, can take a while I am afraid. But always keep in mind it's different for everyone. I hope when they took you off, it wasn't cold turkey. For me, post-Valium I had great anxiety, insomnia and depression. I stopped mid summer and sort of felt like myself...

I have been doing a lot of bodywork and somatic release. It hurts a lot sometimes, but I feel at my core - and know - I am making progress. Yesterday, I had a day without pain. I had energy. Maybe I didn't move anything out, but it encouraged me to keep going. More good days will come. Plus I...